Sunday, August 28, 2016

Archer's Omnibus of Oddities: A View from the Brink

I've collected all my most irreverent escapades into a book in this one-stop digital shop. Most of these quick-read stories are from my years as columnist for Out magazine. Other entries were published elsewhere and some are totally new entries in OH NO HE DIDN'T. The title should ward off the easily offended or unprepared... thanks to Bam Bam for the original concept and textured cover!

Eight out of ten sociologists agree: "Jesse Archer spins his most shocking escapades into editorial that is sometimes salacious, often incendiary, and always irreverent. From Manhattan to Burning Man to North Dakota's Corn Palace, follow the misadventures of a gay man with a lot to learn. This volume includes a decade's worth of outrageous tales, some of which may involve black sheep, masculine bottoms, forbidden fruit, sex parties, suicides, Cyndi Lauper, AIDS cures, prison pen pals, Fire Island survivors, a high school hero, and how to ruin your best friend's wedding."

Download at the link above, or at Apple, Amazon, or maybe even in your cloud, if you can pin it down. xoxo

Monday, March 14, 2016

Rotto Swim… and quokka selfie!

I jumped at the opportunity to join three girlfriends for a relay ocean swim from Perth to Rottnest Island. The Rottnest Channel Swim is 20+ kms across notoriously shark-infested waters... to the island home of the adorable marsupial, the quokka.

me and the girls at the finish #BUCKET LIST TICKED
Bondi Bubble Butts at Cottlesoe Beach...
My first Indian Ocean meet and greet!
The Rotto Swim is super difficult to enter. Simply to register you have to find a local skipper, a boat, a paddler; have a team, pay $1000, and register online within a window of just a few days... and even after all that you are not guaranteed a spot, you're only put in the lottery. Thankfully two of our team were locals and their family hooked us up.

Conditions were ideal! And it felt like the entire city was out there in a flotilla of hundreds of boats, paddlers slowly rocking their way toward the island.
thanks, paddler Crispy!
 And with all the boats and paddlers looking out for dorsal fins, it felt a lot safer. No marine creatures spotted by our team besides fish, rays, and ...  sea grass.

Ben, our friendly skipper.

a cola for your troubles, Meg!
Anna, queen of the flotilla.
Are we there yet? I'm pink in zinc.
 We swam in intervals of ten minutes, and after a few hours went down to 8 minute intervals. Simon was on the back of the boat timing the entire time. I'll confess to getting seasick for the second hour - the boat bobbling along only as fast as we swam. Thanks to some hardcore early am training, we all felt really strong. Next challenge: swim it in a duo!

Once arrived at the island, thousands of revelers had ferried over and were drinking at the local pub, but after a few beers off we went in search of the lovable yet feral local inhabitants...
baby quokka digging in momma's purse.

Bagged the ultimate Rottnest souvenir -- a QUOKKA SELFIE. How cute are these things? Granted I had to slather my body in honey and prostate myself on the road to get this photo, but it was worth it!

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Home of the Brave

Mistaking cartilage for a spine and the deep sea for high ground, Senator Mitch McConnell (R-Ky) says he will not give a hearing for, or even meet Obama's as yet unnamed supreme court nominee.

Sunday, February 14, 2016

Tropfest 2016

The world's largest short film festival, Tropfest, happened last night in Sydney's Centennial Park. Was a beautiful day, made better with the timely death of that blowhard on the bench, Antonin Scalia. 2016 Valentine's Day really is for lovers!
public picnic aka boozing with Poysa and Leigh
Always fun to see what the filmmakers come up with in 7 minutes or less at Tropfest. Each year a certain "signature item" has to feature in the films in some way. This year it was "card". This short, Postcards to Ulay, was one of my favorites. It came in second in the competition. Sweet.

In other news, check out my backyard in summer! Have been seriously training for a big ocean swim off of Perth in a couple week's time. More on that later... but what a way to wake up. This pool – that view!

Monday, January 04, 2016

We have liftoff

Launching into the New Year on my flamingo pegasus!
A few of us found this gorgeous spot in the mountains, in Barrington Tops national park, a few hours NW of Sydney.
Spent a couple days camping, starting fires with the wigwam method,
dipping into the frigid freshwater waterfalls (even Simon braved the swimming hole), 
 and playing on the inflatable plastic pink flamingo.... which Bam got me for Xmas...
...and, five minutes out of the box, suffered a mortal puncture wound on its first flight (see first image; impact was much less graceful). Bam was none too pleased, but the flamingo head is uninjured. I may mount it as a trophy on my wall.