Monday, November 03, 2014

Net Assets

 When I got the Facebook invitation from my friend Phil, the description of the Net Assets Cup was vague, if highly alluring. It read, in part:
Insensitive sexist parody of gay men’s mothers not to be taken seriously. Inexcusable racism. Cultural appropriation of some sort. Unabashed privilege. Immature snottiness. The Vaucluse Ladies Tennis Club is a perfumed, tittering gabfest! This annual Tournament is a day of intense doubles, lobsters and Aperol spritzers. We invite you to the court for some 'casual sets'...

I naturally had no idea what was happening, except that I was meant to bleach my visor and prepare for a day of tennis in the fancy harborside suburb of Vaucluse. I thought we were gathering on some public tennis court, but when I arrived at the address it was a ritzy estate of my friend's folks, right on the water with its own grand piano, tennis courts and THIS:


For the first time ever, I'm the most conservatively dressed in a picture. I told Phil I had no idea it was a costume party. He said, "You didn't see the guest list?" Clearly I am losing my touch. It turned out to be an amazing day, which actually turned into two amazing days, and after all the drinking it quickly devolved... at one point into a round of strip tennis. I've never had a single tennis lesson, but when playing for my clothes I suddenly became Stefi Graff.

My friend John's ass, though, scored a whole lot of Love!

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