Sunday, September 07, 2014

Atlantis Cruise - Mediterranean: the parties!

I was a little concerned about doing an Atlantis Cruise, thought I might feel trapped or something -- imagine! Despite a hideous cruise director, Malcolm, it was all very duck to water fabulous. Everything here is catered to the audience: from the entertainers to the parties, even walking to your room - no Burt Bacharach playing this week; now it's Kylie Minogue. And the Celebrity Equinox staff were loving this charter. They usually deal with fat families and geriatrics and now they're staying up all night dancing and taking lots of "you will never believe this" photos. Bam took a tour of the ship, and they told him the gay cruise eats less but drinks FOUR times as much as straight ones -- in fact, the ship doesn't have enough space to store all the booze.

So here's where all that booze went! A few weeks before sailing, they send a list of theme parties - and everyone goes all out in the dress up department. Nothing like being dressed up and dancing with all your friends as you sail across the Mediterranean.

Getting ready for the 70s party. We went mullet and 70s clone look. 
the hankie was supposed to be in your back right pocket, boys.

Of course we ended in the pool. Anita caught pneumonia before the trip was through -- apparently pnuemonia is also known as excessive partying.

Anita brought a gaggle of friends from NYC who are Broadway and American Ballet Theatre dancers. We called them the "joy boys" and they were very popular!

uniforms: less is more!
Below: Wayne's luggage was lost by Lufthansa --- and all his hand luggage was nothing but costumes. He had no boy clothes at all, just the one outfit he flew in - but he at least had his wig and cha-cha heels!! 

His luggage caught up with us in Sicily, but Lufthansa was giving him a per day clothing allowance, so let's just say he was running in the opposite direction of his suitcase.

Richards glasses make a handy mirror.
Nobody is paying attention to this showstopper, Wayne!!
My favorite pic of Bam.
IMAGINE-NATION party. We were supposed to come up with creative costumes from our native countries. So we dressed up in our galaxy tights and deelybopper headbands. Out of this world, naturally.

The white party. Anita tried to talk us all into white tutus. Cooldan had a better idea: use the towels from our room and save space in our luggage! So we strapped locker keys to our arms and went as sauna boys.
Anita poses in sixth position: ballet with a beer.

Isadora Duncan eat your heart out.
This one is all ready for the wall-size canvas print treatment:
The dying white swan.
UH OH. What in the hell is this?
It lives.
This Chariots Of Fire serenade is just as questionable.
The ladies hit the deck for a sophisticated evening at the overpriced martini bar. We all get cards to charge anything to our rooms. We kept laughing that my card was going to get declined.

The drinks were then easily transported to the theatre...
... for a flown-in performance from the incomparable dance diva, Deborah Cox!
We raced down to the front and she came out into the audience, singing "nobody's supposed to be here" but there we were. And who wore it better? Simone and Deborah in matching sequin frocks!

The show left some bitches unmoved: 
The pool deck was the scene of ongoing crimes against nature.

So after all these parties and late nights, just imagine first thing in the morning: "welcome to Naples!" and it's not like you're going to take a tylenol, sleep some more and then have a light breakfast. Oh no, it's off to Naples. Ten days of that.. and this:
She has one eye looking at ya, one eye lookin for ya.
well the partied continued for SOME of us. It was the night Betty Crocker died.
The mortician did a beautiful job for the viewing.
The Wet Party - staff got really into hosing, dousing and spraying the crowds. Cooldan had a waterproof camera, thankfully!

against regulation: improper use of lifesaving uniform.


Robert Anthony said...

Hey Jesse
Don't suppose there was any "cruising" on that cruise...

Jesse Archer said...

Tony, there was plenty of guys cruising each other but in terms of relaxation none at all!