Tuesday, February 05, 2013

Why Am I?

Here is a screen grab from my public FB page. It appears to be me, but it is really FB pretending to be me in order to tell me how and why Jesse Archer needs to post a status update about himself. Yes, my existential crisis approaches its apex.

Who Am I?

Recently, Bam started waxing philosophical about The Brink. He begins, "I thought it was just a website..." and goes on to say the brink is an alluring place but can be dangerous, a slippery slope on a precarious precipice. When I remind him I'm fine and haven't gone over the edge, he says it's my "natural habitat" and that I alone thrive walking the tightrope. Then he pinpointed what's for him the moment in my past where I chose to exist on this razor's edge and it's hard to ignore someone who's known you so long and so well. Maybe it's time to step back from the brink - it's LONELY here!

What Am I?

The brink of WHAT? I've always said SANITY.

Straddling that yawning chasm of reality and perception, I find what's really important is to try and be guided by this maxim. Or is it a platitude? And in doing so, tell your truth.

"The tragedy of life is not death, but what dies inside of us while we live."


Tony said...

Dear Jesse -

You are fortunate indeed to have a friend like Bam, someone who will raise uncomfortable questions. Like, what are you doing “on the brink?”
Coincidentally, I’ve been reading Andrew Sullivan’s essay on friendship, “If Love Were All,” the final section in his book, “Love Undetectable.” Among lots of interesting and provocative things, in contrasting love and friendship he says, [friends] “... provide something more reliable [than erotic love] ... they allow for an honesty which doesn’t threaten pain and a criticism which doesn’t imply rejection [...]
How unlike love, with its pressing, urgent desire for union, for self-oblivion in another’s arms. If in a lover we seek to end our individuation, in a friend we seek its full development.”
So a possible answer to your question “Why Am I?” could be that one of the reasons you (and all the rest of us) are here is to seek our own full development and that of others through true friendship. Sullivan examines a number of definitions of what that might mean. But whatever it means, maybe one of the purposes of our existence is to offer and receive friendship. From what I know of you, you’re doing a pretty good job of that.
As for what I am, I still haven’t figured out what I’m s’posed to do when I grow up.

Jesse Archer said...

That was beautiful, thanks Tony. Definitely have to look up that Sullivan essay...