Saturday, February 09, 2013

Fire Your Nanny

Australia's "National Health and Medical Research" has spent time, money and research to declare that children should wash their hands before and after playing in the sandpit, and not blow out birthday candles at parties because they might spread germs.
The Guidelines state: "To prevent the spread of germs when the child blows out the candles, parents should provide cupcakes and a separate cupcake, with a candle if they wish, for the birthday child."

Last I knew, getting exposed to germs only fortifies the immune system. Ideas like these only expose kids to obsessive manias, compulsions and phobias; the collective plague of #firstworldproblems.  

Then again, maybe the NHMR is not going far enough? Why stop at bubble-wrapping kids when they might spend time, money and research to engineer a way to keep them fetal; forever protected, afloat in a warm womb where they can't catch a cold.

Why bother living? It's only going to kill you.


2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Here's a clarification from the Australian NHRMC website at:

http://www.nhmrc.gov.au/guidelines/publications/ch55

"Staying Healthy is best practice advice to help child care centres make good decisions for children in their care, not a new set of rules. The advice aims to reduce the risk of serious infections and infectious diseases spreading through child care centres to the children’s families, the workers and the community. It’s not about keeping children away from all germs. Assertions that cakes and candles will be “banned” are incorrect. This is not new advice—all of the items mentioned were in the previous edition, published in 2005. At least one media report acknowledged there are child care centres that already, for example, ask children not to blow out candles on a cake to be shared."

Jesse Archer said...

Thanks for the clarification, NHRMC. I would also like to re-clarify my position to that organization and all other insipid, overreaching arms of the nanny state:

GET A LIFE.