Thursday, July 12, 2012

Surviving My Birthday

Nothing will surpass last year's birthday where I was raped and killed (not in that order) on the set of Into the Lion's Den. But this year came close in the mortal wound department. I've been accused of whooshing into town only to exhaust my friends, but they knew I was coming. I told them to hide the booze and take their naps!

CoolDan threw my party at his East Village place, and it was just like old times. So happy to see everyone again and pics forthcoming. Despite the mass of candles on the cake we didn't burn the place down because as they sang HAPPY BIRTHDAY, the air conditioner blew all the candles out!

At 3am, Jamie the Fruitfli finally appeared and gave me a gift: a big bottle of poppers. Then Ari Gold texts from the Cock, where he's spinning, and says I should come by for a birthday drink. That's how we ended up going out all hours and waking up at noon on Becky's couch.

I had tons of angry texts because we'd made a plan to go to Fire Island in the morning and I was MIA. It was our friend Kent's annual IndepenDance charity bash that evening. But Becky started fixing us White Russians, CoolDan came over and I had a sloppy drunk birthday chat with my family before we even thought about heading to Penn Station for that epic slog.

My friend Travis was so angry we didn't leave that morning that he proceeded to get wasted and by the time we all arrived at Penn Station it looked like he might not even make the train he was such a mess. I sat him down, got him Dr Pepper and a Taco Bell bean burrito and forced it down his throat.

A bean burrito is indestructible and contains untold unnatural powers (see above). As Travis restored himself to life, his boyfriend Marcos says, "If Jesse Archer is hosting your intervention, you know it's serious." But he made it. We all made it! As the sun began to set on my birthday, we cruised across the bay atop the ferry and saw the party in full swing.
IndepenDance!
Great to see all the boys of Reflections house. Thanks to Jeff Eason at Edge for these pics. CoolDan and I resisted, for the first time, a jump into the bay.
 Hello, Roman! Jesse, you're old enough to know not to pose alongside models!
 These board shorts are officially missing in action, btw. Dammit I liked them.
Out on the harbor with the FIP boys and a TAB!!! On my birthday!
Fire Island Pines suffered a devastating fire in the Harbor this past December, and there is a giant hole where the Pavilion once stood (they plan to have it back by next season). Thankfully those locations are immortalized in Half-Share, now a period piece!

Before the new Sip 'n Twirl opened (July 4), there was no place to dance at night in the Pines (the horror!). So we heard about a party in the meat rack - the notorious forested dunes between the two communities. How strange to walk through those dark trails and come upon a massive party with LED lights, boom box music and dancing in the dunes. All I thought was - it's about time! Did it take the harbor burning down to get a party going in the meat rack? Apparently.

We hit Cherry Grove and then back in the Pines where my pal Zander (I want to say accidentally) invited all the patrons (40 or so) of Blue Whale bar back to his house. Mostly we crammed into one jacuzzi. One housemate had the brilliant idea to add Palmolive to the jacuzzi so there were suds everywhere, in fact the suds are still probably surging toward the sea. The only complaint was Palmolive really should invent colored suds.

Being "survivor weekend" we had to ultimately find somewhere to sleep. This entailed me climbing a huge tree to get over the fortress-like wall of an abandoned house. A rotten branch fell and my leg got all bloody but we got inside. No better birthday finish than crashing on an abandoned floor with my friends. So grateful to be given another spin around the sun with YOU. 




3 comments:

Eddie in OKC said...

I saw this post yesterday and was, of course, delighted to see the midriff Tees with one of the now-infamous quotes from Oklahoma City's own Sweet Brown, "Oh, Lord Jesus, it's a fire!"

Even more delightful was running into Sweet Brown at the liquor store last night and telling her about it. I said that I hope she's making money of this, and she responded, "You better believe it. Ain't nobody got time for that!"

Jesse Archer said...

Hilarious. Sweet Brown sounds like somebody I need to know!

Dtown-Blog said...

HA! I'm turning 30 in October and I'm already the one in the group telling everyone to hide the booze and take their naps. Love me or leave me!!!