Friday, June 22, 2012

Cheers to Middle Health!

"Middle health" exists in the extremities. If I can't stay out all night and still get up before dawn for gym class well then - I just shouldn't go to bed at all! Middle Health is a bit tricky to maintain. But the alternative - plenty of rest and early to bed? I'd rather watch Octomom's porno!

The other night I was out Monday morning (?) for the Queens Birthday holiday. Me and my friend Denton on the dance floor at Phoenix eating popsicles they passed around at 8:00 am. In Australia, they're called "ice lollies" which kills me.
By 9am, my buddy Jack had fallen on the stage in a crumpled heap. He went down in parts and in slow motion, like a euthanized horse. Bam Bam then arrived to harrass the bartenders in his constant, un-quenched quest to order a refreshing sherry ("it's good for the heart!") which no bar ever stocks.

Middle health had Wednesday greet dawn from the other way around. Body Pump with my favorite fitness instructor. It takes a special personality to transcend the rote choreography of these classes with their cover songs and Will is so damn adorable we've taken to stalking him on Facebook. And this Wednesday in class, sigh, he winked at me. Winkin' Will: Stop toying with my EMOTIONS!!!

Thursday at 6 am is Body Attack with Jaqui. She's a fighting fit Pebbles Flintstone, but blonde and even more animated. We love Jaqui because she is always screaming random things to distract us from the fact we're exercising, "I slept with your boyfriend," she screams as sweat drips down your face. "I'm not sorry!" She's also got a massive fan following. In their short shorts, the same six acolytes always line up in the same spots in the front row. We call them The Royal Court.

Swingin' back to late night, I invited friends for a farewell at Polly's Follies amateur drag show. Polly was in fine fettle, on stage drinking champagne out of her tea kettle and making fun of all the queens. At the end of the night, she whipped me and four others on stage, ripped off our shirts, and told us to lift her above our heads. Putting the mic down, she whispered, "Don't drop me. Also, I'm wearing a fake ass."

Happy to report Polly and her fake ass were safely returned upright to the stage.


Pulsbeat said...

Thank you so much!
I was so happy to find your blog. I've been looking for your work since I saw you in Summer. If you lived nearer I'd be stalking you ;-)
I know you don't need someone to encourage you to be you but thank you!

Jesse Archer said...

Thank YOU, Daya ;) XXX