Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Eurovision 2012

Oh, the camp-fest that is Eurovision! Most Americans have no clue about this yearly musical battle between countries of Europe and beyond... even though it spawned wonders like ABBA and Celine Dion. Eurovision 2012 was held in Baku, Azerbaijan, despite its multiple human rights violations. How Azerbaijan is considered European is as baffling as how Celine Dion competed for Switzerland when she's Canadian? More baffling is what you often see on stage.

Eurovision has a habit of fusing the stereotypes of a nation and putting them onstage to folkloric, it's-a-small-world fanfare. Basically, each nation gets the opportunity to commit a bias crime against itself. For example, the Russian grannies:

Eurovision makes you want to cringe and applaud at the same time. These Babushkas do for Russia what Richard Simmons does for me. It's a minstrel show but who can't help but cheer? The tone-deaf, choreographically-challenged grannies and their oven nearly scored an upset to Sweden's winner, the alluring and talented Loreen and her catchy "Euphoria", which I totally want for my iPod.

Other notables included the dreadlocked screamer from Albania, angry clarinets from Serbia, tumblers from France and an incredible anthem "Be my guest" from Ukraine, which I wish would headline the Mardi Gras next year. Listen to this!

What's most strange is that the voting is so regional. Spain will probably vote for Portugal even if it sucks and vice versa. It's not fair - especially if that hottie from Norway can come in last - even to the UK's Engelbert Humperdinck!? But I guess it makes for border peace and neighborliness. Can we please sign up the Middle East and North Africa?


Anonymous said...

Loreena seems like a Katy Robyn mash up. That's it! Scott C.

David said...

The bloc voting is annoying - Russia can literally send a ranting hobo and get through to the final, while countries like Switzerland and the Netherlands (who haven't qualified for the final since the first year there was a semi in 2004) can send amazing songs (for example, Edsilia Rombley's "On Top Of The World" in 2007) and get screwed.