Saturday, January 21, 2012

For Your Edification: Gifting (Lack of) Etiquette

Giving and receiving is a special time meant to involve surprises - just probably not these ones!

KNOWLEDGE IS POWER: Much like Chlamydia, a brain or a billion dollar bank account, you can't tell by looking who may be in possession of a gift.

On the set of A Four Letter Word, I was in Central Park with my co-star Charlie David. Our director, Casper was nearby wearing a tank top with little hot dogs emblazoned all over it. I turn to Charlie to scornfully ridicule ("hot dogs?!) such a ridiculous shirt, and I remember ending with "You'd think, being Swedish, he'd have some sense of fashion!" Moments later, Casper comes over and I say, "What the hell is that shirt?" Casper smiles brightly and says, "Charlie gave it to me!"

RE-GIFTING: It's pro-environment and I'm all for it. And, much like theft, it's totally cool until you get caught.

Like the time I re-gifted a gorgeous journal to a girlfriend. I wrapped the thing up, and as she opened it she began to read what she thought was an inscription. It was, to our mutual horror and later hilarity, a diary entry I had once written and forgot about...

SAFE RECEIVING: Unwrap before you speak - it could ruin the mood.

At a birthday party, my friends Chad and Scott handed me a wrapped gift that resembled, in size and weight, a brick. So I launch into a story, laughing hysterically, about how my brother once sent me a brick. For my birthday. A brick! Could you believe it? He found it in "historical" Boston and sent it in the mail, and have you ever had more of a stinker for a gift? Moments later I unwrap, to the mortification of all assembled, a brick. Granted, this one had my name on it, but it was, unmistakably, still a brick.


Auntie M said...

You are such a doofus. xx

Jesse Archer said...

XOXO Auntie M!