Sunday, November 06, 2011

Why Have His Kisses Gone Cold??

Because her cooter's gone feral! Check out these fearsome vintage vaginal douching ads from 1948. "Feminine daintiness and charm" is in grave danger here. If the marriage is foul - it's her own foul fault!  That's the scare tactic approach to get you to buy Lysol douche. Couldn't be he's stepping out with the maid or a man... it's you and your non-disinfected, unsanitary vagina. Click on this QUIZ: 
Lysol Vaginal Douching - Or Else
I'm not sure how this qualifies as a quiz if all the answers are supplied. But you'd better squirt Lysol up your vagina - to save your marriage! Forget that Lysol is now used to disinfect toilet bowls, the fine print guarantees it is "non-injurious to delicate membrane".  I'm no expert here, but this cannot have been good for you -- do women even douche anymore?

The ads are otherwise fairly consistent with what you see today - lose fat with "Protam" and oxidize fat at a rate of 7 pounds a week with no: drugs, hardship, exercise or massage! Buy "mum" to keep you free of underarm odor (a bath is not preventative; a bath only removes current man-repellant odors). Also, dont' forget to join the "tampax millions"! 

Clearly it's women reading "Silver Screen" magazine - and though advertising is and has always been scruple-free, don't you feel sorry for these fretful housewives whose feminine daintiness is besieged by such "scientific facts", "doctors" and "facts"? Even worse, pity the models! How does your career recover after inhabiting the role of the nailbiting young wife who realizes, too late, she could have saved her charm had she only zapped her shameful, disgusting, marriage-killing coochie with Zonite?

send away for the booklet

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