Sunday, September 04, 2011

How to Ruin His Sex Life

Who doesn't love a cunning woman?  My friend Rowena is just that - and we were out the other night, eating when she spotted a very attractive, tall blond man at the bar. Very hot, very her type - and being a sophisticated, sexy lady, Rowena would not have to work to get the man's attention. But then we caught a tall, attractive blonde woman stood beside him. He grabbed her ass, they made out.

Rowena pouted. Clearly she had no chance as she is black and he is clearly into women who look like they could be his sister. We watched them kiss and I said: "Twincest" - which gave Rowena an idea.

"I know how to ruin his sex life," she declared. If she can't have him, nobody will! We watched them grope for a moment as Rowena composed herself and told me to play along. Then she called our waiter, asking him to bring the man to our table - she was a model scout and needed to speak with him.

The blond man obeys - which is what men do when coaxed to tables by sexy women. Seated calmly, Rowena shakes the beautiful man's hand imperiously when he arrives: "I'm with Moda Model Management, and we're looking for brother/sister twins for an upcoming campaign."

"I'm sorry?" he says, flustered. "That woman, the tall blonde," Rowena indicates the woman he was just groping: "She is your sister, right?" ", we're not..." he says and Rowena shakes her head dismissively, "Oh I'm sorry, nevermind, we're looking only for twins for this shoot."

The man is so flabbergasted, he just stares at Rowena - no doubt picturing his girlfriend as his sister - before asking, "You're who again?" "Moda Model Management. Sorry to bother you." And with that, she turns back to me absolutely straight-faced.

Rowena refuses to look back to the bar, she's all business now, having just ruined his sex life. But I narrate what's happening behind her head: "He's pointing us out to his girlfriend..." "He's telling her what happened..."

Rowena cackles: "...And she's drying up like the Sahara!!!"


Julie F. said...

Totally epic, Jesse!
Why can't I have awesome friends like yours! lol

Jesse Archer said...

Julie, if they're on here they're your friends too :)

thegayte-keeper said...

She sounds like fun.