Friday, May 20, 2011

Apocalypse...Now?

Jesus is coming.  Look busy!!  My friend Tony was heading into Barnes & Nobles in Virginia when he saw God pimping this ride in the lot.
Already packing my bags! 
I actually saw signs with this same message strapped to the backs of Christians in the Union Square subway station. Apparently it's very real.  Writes Tony:

This thing is the brainchild of a fundie radio preacher named Howard Camping whose group "Family Radio" is promoting this new date for Armageddon through a nationwide campaign that has been featured on NPR and ABC.  Hence the truck. Problem is, he's already been wrong a bunch of times, but his followers are sure that it's gonna happen, and they, the true believers, will be taken up on May 21 in the "rapture." Turns out he's 84, so who knows what'll happen to him.

Holy hell. Armageddon begins this weekend! Can I just tell God that Saturday is really not a good day for me?  I'm sure he sleeps in, however, so I'll be fully awake by the time all the subservient blast upward.  I've already joined the popular online event: post-rapture looting.

I love that the end of the world is "awesome" news, according to the motor home.  The awesome news here is that they actually spelled judgment correctly. Philosopher John Stuart Mill wrote this once (in a letter), and I readily apply it to both conservatives and the religious - as mostly they are synonymous:


I did not mean to say that the Conservatives are generally stupid. I meant to say that stupid people are generally Conservative. 

And the kicker is his next sentence: 

I believe that is so obviously and universally admitted a principle that I hardly think any gentleman will deny it.

Duh.
They're not all stupid, but look at that truck!  That shit is stupid.  It will be extra stupid on May 22.

I would like to think that Christians here are using the word "awesome" as it's awesome how volcanoes make islands, but no - they are using it as "fantastic" - not fantastic like their beliefs, but fantastic as in fabulous.  They know this whole Armageddon concoction is a mass genocide and they are THRILLED about it!!!

Of course, one can avoid said genocide if one simply believes. I'm still trying to figure out who the hell is this holy ghost? But don't ask questions. The holy ghost is a spirit -with God and Jesus it's three! What? That doesn't make sense? STFU and believe it! Questions are anathema to the whole charade - you don't get a communion wafer with questions.  Blind belief is the name of the game - unfaltering faith - there's a reason they call themselves a "flock".

Meek is a four letter word and the meek shall inherit only more mealy-mouthed sheep.  

And how quickly their humility turns to hypocrisy; meekness to declarations of absolute 100% certain conviction (May 21, 2011!) served with a side of smug, gnashing teeth (we are only lobotomizing you because we LOVE you!) There is such a dearth of neighborly love and such an overload of suffering created via "god" that I remain hesitant to concede religion can be good for anyone. Though in rare times I do reflect on how it might be comforting to some. That maybe it's not all bad. That trying to love others despite their choices could be something I can try to conceptualize - through a veil of acid.

Hey - look at me when I'm rolling my eyes at you!

The Bible may indeed hold some truths.  Like for example that shellfish are an abomination. Leviticus says that anything in the sea without fins or scales is an abomination. Yes, God hates shrimp.  Is it because the mighty shrimp is not duly meek? Did shrimp have too many questions about their nature  - such as where they came from and why they were not given scales and/or fins like all the rest?  

There is some truth in the Bible, yes even worthy truth.  There is also heady wisdom in Dr. Seuss and I hardly think any gentleman - indeed any thinking, fearless person - would dare try deny the wisest truth ever told is not Believe In God, but rather I Don't Know.


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