Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Sydney's "Little Black Dress Run" 2011 Photos

Coco Chanel's 'fashion MUST' has hit the park running!

According to Wikipedia:
A little black dress is an evening or cocktail dress, cut simply and often quite short. Its ubiquity is such that it is often simply referred to as the "LBD".  Intended to be long-lasting, versatile, affordable, accessible to the widest market possible -----let's stop here to check that ever-expanding market!:

Sydney's Frontrunner's take on Coco's sleek, chic reach with their annual LBD run!  It's a charity for Camp Good Time, a charity for children living with HIV.  It also kicks off Sydney's Gay & Lesbian Mardi Gras.
First a little back story on how hard it is to get your boyfriend into an LBD:

Bam Bam was absolutely NOT going to do the Little Black Dress run.  Ever since he showed me the ad, I knew I was in.  I'd been searching for weeks to find something affordable, and when we got to a flea market in Kirribilli I found a $10 LBD!

I continued searching for Bam who followed me around laughing, mocking "How ridiculous!" and as I put a dress up to him and told him to try it on, he says, aloud so all the locals can hear, "I am not trying it on.  I'm not going to wear an LBD" and yet again, "How ridiculous!"  Walking away, he whispers, "Get it for me."

Hypocrite!!  It's always me doing the dirty work while he pretends he hates it, while secretly loving it.  When we get to Centennial Park Saturday morning, Bam says, "Nobody's wearing a wig" so he refuses to put on his wig, even though he made me go into Paddy's Market and have the salesgirl pull down the blonde 50's bouffant he secretly selected because nothing else was "elegant" enough. That's what he told me, "It's the only elegant one".

But then people began arriving, dressing up, putting on their wigs.  I turn around and not only is Bam squeezed into his LBD and wearing the blonde bouffant wig, he is poking me to ask for lipstick!!!

Here she is: Betty Drooper.
She wants to be Mad Men's Betty Draper, but look at her!!  She's January Jones by way of Brunhilda, legendary frau of the Biergarten.  Elegance personified.
Here I am attempting splendor in the grass.  In the immortal words of Anita Private, "I look like a woman who used to be beautiful."  Though I did put frangipani blossoms in my hair to add a little freshness.
Here's the sum of our relationship in one photo.  I am giving you Elle MacPherson fist on a swiveled hip, plus a coquette Mary Pickford twirl of the golden curls.  And then please look at the behemoth beside me. 
You think she could manage a pose?  A smile?  Pull her dress down?  Anything?   

He did admit the dress was a "bit short".  That's what happens when you don't try before you buy!  

Some of the other illustrious competitors:

Hostess Joyce Maynge explains how it's going to work.  There will be multiple rest stops for photo opportunities, followed by a sausage sizzle.
 The warm up stretching did involve a "mammary massage".
Joyce crowned Miss LBD 2011, announcing "the winner is....that THING".  Thing competed in 7 inch platforms!
In the final stretch - up the hill with the black swan who won "Best Dress"!
Class Photo.  With trolley mascot. 
 And we're off!!  Betty Drooper takes the LEAD!!

GO BETTY, GO!  Bam actually won the "Best Legs" prize!!  He got a special certificate AND eight free passes to an underwear party!  He wasn't totally satisfied, however, as he felt he deserved to also win for: "miniest mini-dress", "highest hair", and "best cleavage".

"Each time I heard the categories, I thought for sure they were going to call my name," he lamented.  Oh yeah, a once-reluctant Betty now wants to SWEEP the medals! 


Auntie M said...

Just how tall is Bam anyway?

Jesse Archer said...

he's 6'3" or 7' with the elegant hair!