Wednesday, February 02, 2011

Should I feel guilty about my tan?

My crazy cousin Karen took a CHAINSAW to cut up the icy snow into blocks of igloo material, clearing a path to her front door.  And in NYC they're blasted again - with all the wrong kind of inches!  The only excitement they're getting these days is this:
My friend Scott took this photo of Debbie Gibson and Tiffany performing together, which you have to admit is 80's totally awesome!

They teamed up in the SYFY channel hit (yes, dumb that station down - certainly I'd rather watch SYFY than SciFi, especially if it involves these two battling it out in MEGA-PYTHON vs. GATOROID.  What took them so long to go for this? Let's hope this collaboration is like Bette Davis & Joan Crawford together in Whatever Happened to Baby Jane rather than Veronica Lake & Oblivion teaming up in Flesh Feast!

Anyway, as the snow falls in the northern hemisphere, I just checked out a copy of DNA magazine in Sydney's...library.  Beat that heat!  And for more hot male deliverables, check out the latest issue of smoking glog Paragon Men - I get to write all the models' captivating copy!

I went running yesterday to Bondi Beach.  I decided to see how long it would take, and as I ran through Rushcutters Bay, and up and down a few hills, through Double Bay, and down around Rose Bay only to then become lost through neighborhoods trying to find the beach - it occurred to me that maybe it wasn't the best idea to run in the middle of the afternoon heat.  It's like a simmering soup!  But I imagined my cousin chainsawing bricks of ice and soldiered on...bless my heart...until just when I thought I'd die of heat exhaustion, I rounded a curve. 

Spread out before me - set to a transcendent remix of a recent Pet Shop Boys hit playing over the head phones, -- was the aqua cool perfection of Bondi Beach.  With people and sun and sand.  They say that it's all about the lifestyle in Sydney, and I finally got it.

I felt....like Lewis & Clark finally having reached the end - hovering at the edge of a cliff to lay lusty eyes upon the Pacific.  Like Newton when called gravity law.  I felt like the big red Kool-Aid jug busting through the ceiling.  Yeah, I felt like that.


Then I remembered Lewis & Clark were only half way, and Kool-Aid is fattening.   My return was a lot less refreshing.

3 comments:

Tony said...

Yeah, you should feel guilty about your tan. While you're browning your buns on Bondi Beach, most of us are freezing ours off up here.
And they're turning paler by the moment. Wanna see?

Jesse Archer said...

Thanks Tony, but the moon still shines in the southern hemisphere! :)

Tony said...

Well, OK then. Offer withdrawn. No question, the Southern Hemisphere moon would be much easier on the eyes.