Friday, February 18, 2011

The Price of an Avocado

Home of the $17 margarita!  I mean, for $17 you'd think the margarita is the size of a fishbowl, and includes the fish!  But no, this is Australia where they put little stoppers on the end of the liquor bottles so you're sure to be sober no matter how many times you shell out $17 for a thimble of tequila in a small, but elegant glass. 

This place is expensive!  The cheapest thing on the dinner menu is over $20.  Even a fucking avocado is $3.  An avocado!  I can't stop talking about the three dollar avocado.  And it's not like it was back in the day when an AUD was not really a dollar, at least not a USD, but there's this parasitic little word that is reality now called "parity".  I hate it!!

Used to be, you'd travel overseas and it was like a huge joke.  A dollar didn't count.  You know, thousands of Zim dollars for Thousands of dollars for a banana, you'd laugh hahahahahaha.  Isn't that a riot.  Not that it's funny, especially if you are Zimbabwean, where they can't even afford to print the back of their worthless money. 

Zim Dollars, for reference.  This stack will buy you breakfast.
But the joke is on ME!  I am a savvy bargain hunting hobosexual, and can always sniff out a $3 falafel, a $2 hot dog, a $1 slice of pizza.  But there simply just aren't any alternatives here.  Your avocado is three dollars and that's final!  Ok? 

Aussies give you a curious response ("Really?" Yes, REALLY!) when you tell them it's twice as expensive here as New York City.  But finally, I have some proof.  Sydney was voted the second most unaffordable housing market in the world!! (Next to Hong Kong -who wants to live there?)   And that's only the housing market - imagine what it would cost to whip up a party sized bowl of homemade guacamole?  See, I cannot stop talking about overpriced avocados.  It's absurd, we're in the tropics!  



carmel said...

there is a pub on foveaux st just down from crown - it's on the corner. on thursday and friday (i think those are the days) you can get a $5 steak with fries and salad when you order a beer. and the beer is under five bucks. so that's a pretty good deal. but there is no avocado in the salad!

Jesse Archer said...

Thanks Carmel! I'm going to have to start eating cow again. I've also heard about a "milk war" between Coles and Woolworths, so things are looking up!