Friday, December 17, 2010

Christmas Carol & Country Adventure!

She's baaaaaack!  Been spending relaxing my parents at their new home in rural Trout Lake, Washington, beneath Mt. Adams.  Heavy snow and wild turkeys are out in full force!
Look who's here!  Got this Carol Channing doll for my mom years ago.  She creeps everyone out.
I've had some great holiday times with my parents. We cut down our xmas tree right off the property!  And I've been running in the snow, scrapbooking, feeding barn kittens, eating way too much, listening to Ann Murray (!), and enjoying the quiet time and detox.  They even got me to help complete a jigsaw puzzle which had far too much sky (don't you hate the sky in jigsaw puzzles?)  My parents even have me invested in their war against squirrels, a war only rivaled David Copperfield's aunt's obsession with keeping those blasted donkeys off her lawn!  Why, it's like I'm retired too. 

Then, last night at midnight, crazy cousin Karen rolled into town!  She immediately led me to the barn, and the exact spot where my mom keeps her stash of my dead grandpa's moonshine.  It doesn't freeze in sub-zero temperatures, so that should tell you something!  And the taste, it's sickly sweet and moldy at the same time.  Ick, but it does the trick!   We soon headed for our ritual visit to the cemetery. 

Cousin Karen and I have a notorious history at the cemetery, we are oddly obsessed with it, and certain family members still haven't forgiven us for the Grandpa tried to drag me to hell! episode.  The Trout Lake cemetery is a plot of land cut out from within a forest of fir, in the middle of nowhere, up a very steep hill.  It's even creepier than that Carol Channing doll! 

We get to the bottom of the steep hill, and there's a pile of snow about a meter deep that the plow has built up.  "I can get it from this angle" says Karen, as she guns her truck over the burm, and up the steep hill in deep snow, declaring, at the wheel as we swivel, "One day I'm gonna race Formula One!"

We made it!
 hello, dead relatives!
But then we got stuck on the way back down.  Wheels spinning deeper and deeper, Karen's on the CB radio: "Mayday!  Mayday! We need a tow!" but it's 2 am and nobody answers. 
We scraped away at the packed snow but were still high centered.  We decide to walk the many miles back to my parents place, but on the way saw a light on in the house of this sweet older woman named Jan who lives alone in a beautiful old home that once belonged to my great great aunt Bessie. 

She invited us in, put on some coffee, gave us a tour, and at 4 am, Jan busted out cables, shovels, a big ass truck, drove down to the cemetery and yanked us to freedom!  It's Christmas in the country.


Tony said...

Dear Jesse -

Lovely stories about "Christmas in the country" with your family. They sound like a fun crew, not to mention your cousin Karen. And the older lady with the big-ass truck: outstanding!

My extended family was here for Thanksgiving dinner last month, and after we'd finished eating but were still sitting around the table, I offered after dinner drinks.
While hauling out the nice stuff from my liquor cabinet, way at the back, I found an old mason jar with about an inch of clear liquid left in it. It was genuine mountain 'shine I'd gotten in 1984 from one of the good ol' boys up where the three cash crops are apples, marijuana and 'shine. But they make their moonshine from apples. You could smell the apples, and it still had a kick. Only the most adventurous of my family tried it with me. God knows what toxins we ingested.
Heading back up to the NC mountains Tues. for Christmas with my family.
Happy Holiday wishes to you and all your family.

cousin karen said...

OMG!! am i getting a double chin??? i must get totally serious about the new year's diet, damn!!....wishing i was at bondi beach with you and bam rather than t.l. shoveling more snow!!!
cousin karen

Jesse Archer said...

no double chin, it's a turtleneck! So now you've got the shovel in the back of the truck, huh?? ;)
Come and visit when you can! XOXO