Friday, July 23, 2010

Little Helper Fairy

Probably NOT the best idea to make the nightcap a double shot of Jagermeister.  But I hadn't seen this particular friend (Xavier, not the Jager) in quite some time. After the double shot, we separated and I realized it was quite early (just before midnight) so I get this bright jager-inspired idea to go grocery shopping!

The grocery store is about 6 blocks from my place and late-night is the best time because you can just breeze on down those aisles.  Usually I'm pretty good about not getting too many liquids because that stuff is heavy and I still only have two arms.  I drunkenly load up on the milk, the soda, the orange juice, all sorts of canned crap.  $100 later, I've got 8 twenty pound bags of groceries and even the jaded Latina ringing me up is like, "You gonna be alright?" because she sees I haven't got any granny cart. I've made it this long without a granny cart...

I am riding high on that I am invincible feeling, but a block later things are not working out so well.  I stop to call Bam Bam a million times but of course he is already asleep.  The bags droop; I stagger, they drag, I stop.  I don't think that maybe a taxi would be good here.  Instead, I slowly sink into the filthy, grimy, dog-piss infused sidewalks of New York.

I read in a survival book that survivors always treat their situation, no matter how horrible, as their reality.  The sidewalk is already looking like home.  I'll start with drinking the milk, that's the heaviest.  But first where are those gummi lifesavers? 

Then, out of the blue from behind, a woman's voice: "Let me help you with these." This nice lady stops and picks up two or three of the bags, asking "Where do you live?" and I swear I almost cried.  In this city of mass millions, I never would have expected help from a stranger.   She walked me the remaining four blocks to my home and on the way told me where to get a granny cart for $9.99.


Auntie M said...

Wait a minute, shouldn't that be "Little Fairy Helper"? Just teasing, love. xoxox

Jesse Archer said...

ha! Someone else said that, too... I must be dyslexic!