Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Saving all my Sex for You

How thrilling!  I've been honored by as a 2010 BEST PICK!  I never considered this a sex blog (always thought I had a little more to say), but I do happen to know that most of the people who find jesseonthebrink do it by googling things like, I don't know, Naked Men at the Car Wash.

I met this really super guy a couple weeks ago at Eastern Bloc bar, who says he's a regular reader of this blog.  Hello out there!  I was taken aback because the only people I know who read this blog without finding it by accident after googling Male Nudity Field Day, are the people who comment.

In honor of this award (check out the badge on my margin), I'm gonna roll out successive posts on...SEX.  Not my sex, well...not totally my sex (look out Cooldan and Carm in Oz) Let's start with texting.  The best text I've ever received had to be this one: The police discovered a dead body with a nasty face, fucked up teeth, and bad hair.  I'm really worried.  Please call and let me know you're okay.

That I thought was genius.

Then there's sexting, which can also be genius..and sometimes ickily inappropriate.  I recently got my first sext from a 15 year old.  How to avoid getting a sext from a 15 year old?  Don't give them your number!  No matter how much they tell you their parents are homophobic and going to kick them out...

Moving right along, I was hosting Joe Mode's Way Out World kick-off party last week, and someone (who shall remain anonymous) passed around his phone to show off the sexts he was getting from a 23 year old recently incarcerated Puerto Rican fuck buddy felon.  It read:

"...i was in jail again just got out yesterday was saving my tite ass 4 u daddy"

How flattering.  That is some serious devotion to Daddy!  To have a TITE ass saved for you on Rikers Island. That's not all that was saved.  The next sext read:

"...dont worry none of those fuckers in rikers got any ass or head cause ur my daddy and its all yours my ass and mouth and anything else u want"

Um, how do you sext Oversharing??!


FilterlessFox said...

How Do I Sext Oversharing? Sorry I'm slow right now...but I will answer I guess with what I think is the question. Sorry the squirls (serequel) are still bitting at me. Well recently this guy who I thought was a friend totally used me and my boyfriend : bf for super expensive program and me I guess because I am connected with him. Anyway my boyfriend couldn't do it fast enough and then he told me off in all sorts of ways down to "saying he should pimp me out" whatever, he is just angry he didn't get any from me so thats why he attacted me through texts soooo HERE IS MY POINT! FINALLY! I sent him a pic of my boyfriends beuatiful well proportioned large cock and it read "Jelous little boy?"(is that word allowed?) and then after we had sex I texted him the funfilled condom, which read "I think sooooo!" So I don't think that was going over board. He called me so many names and my boyfriend and lied and was obviously attacking me because I never gave him anything...sexually. So I thought it was great! no? yes? I say a huge YES! Don't mess with a Latin redheaded Scorpio who has OCD! xoxo Jesse Dear

carms said...

i hope i get to be "someone (who shall remain anonymous)" - hahaha

Jesse Archer said...

I love that both of you are women who believe in revenge sex!