Thursday, June 17, 2010

Revenge Sex!

I was on the Gramercy Park set of a new Kate Hudson movie "Something Borrowed".  As to something borrowed, I believe its creators refer to a male fiance she sexually borrows from her childhood best friend (Ginnifer Goodwin, looking amazing in an unspookable $10,000 wig) That's what friends are for! And while we're on the topic of treachery, what kind of person names a child Ginnifer?

Extras holding at the Calvary Church on 21st street.  They didn't lock as many doors as they should have and I went exploring up, down, into the giant vaulted center of the church and all I could think was: This hollow place sure could house a lot of retail stores, mani-pedi boutiques, or homeless!  It's gigantic--a gigantic tax-free waste.  It seems the only income a beautiful old church in the center of Manhattan generates is from film studios paying exorbitant fees for extras holding.

At least they had the good sense to turn one of them into a nightclub (Limelight!) and now a multi-leveled shopping mall.  Ah, utility!  Who needs a church to tell you how to live, when we can hear it direct from the mouth of America's Best Christian, Betty Bowers.

My friend Carm (you didn't really want to be anonymous, did you?) sent me this clip above.  She's now a married mother in Australia, but she grew up in a very conservative area of Canada filled with Mennonites.  My only experience with Mennonites traveling through Paraguay, where I saw clusters of stark white people (contrasting sharply with the brown Paraguayans) with straw colored hair wandering around in overalls.  They struck me as very Huckleberry Finn meets Village of the Damned.

I was told they were Mennonites, a Christian cult which had come to rural Paraguay to practice their religion freely (and most likely proselytize, let's face it).  Just like the Pilgrims on the Mayflower to settle Plymouth!  Those Pilgrims had to escape because the Church of England was just way too free-wheeling.  In the New World, they were at last able to practice their radical puritanism as well as  kill off all the natives!  (There was that one Thanksgiving, lest we presume they weren't generous Pilgrims!)

But back to Canada.  Carm told me about the Mennonites up there, and the family of a guy she dated:

Canadian mennonites are a hardcore religion probably very similar to mormon without the penchant for multiple wives (who needs a wife when you can fuck your daughter?) I dated this guy and it was like Footloose, me being Kevin Bacon. His mum was HORRIBLE to me. She once sent me home in a snowstorm at 11.30 at night after a hockey game because she wouldn't even have me stay on her couch... I lived 17 miles in the country! Even her preacher husband wanted me to stay. What a cunt.

And this is how any sensible girl responds to a Mennonite cunt:

I got her back.  I fucked her son in her bed.  And on her kitchen counter. 

Revenge sex.  Because it feels so good!  Carm cooly adds:

...And I didn't wipe it up! 

How about a sandwich, church lady?


Auntie M said...

Why Christians DON'T read their bibles. They don't really want to know.

carms said...

well i was only a teenager... what teenager likes to clean up after themselves?

John said...

Jesse, I just watched "Something Borrowed" on DVD. I KNEW that was you in the background of one of the scenes!

Jesse Archer said...

Good eyes, John! Now could you tell she was wearing a wig?? ;)