Wednesday, May 26, 2010

*SPOILER ALERT* SATC 2 review

This time around Samantha has yams all over her face instead of sushi all over her body.  It's good for estrogen levels.  Now you know!

All of New York City, or so it seemed, turned up to Radio City Music Hall for the straight female's gay pride AKA the Sex and the City 2 premiere.  I went with my cousin Alyssa who actually got to shake Sarah Jessica Parker's hand and had a grand time spotting celebrities, for which I have no talent.  She spied obscurities like Gayle King--Oprah's "friend"--, Ashanti, Whitney Port, and when I asked, "who's the hot guy over there?" She answered,"Gilles Marini, the hung naked guy from Sex and the City 1." I quickly realized Alyssa is very good to have around!

We had great seats and weren't too far from Gabourey "Precious" Sidibe.  The two women behind me muttered to each other: "Did you see that movie Precious?" "Oh I could never see that movie, sounds just awful." And there, in essence, is your SATC-going audience.  Who needs realism when you can have fashion and $22,000 a night luxury suites with private butlers in Abu Dhabi?  Like in the Great Depression when everyone lived in shanty-towns and went to the movies to forget and see beauty and money and glamour in musicals like Golddiggers of 1933.   

There was a reference even to the 1930's film. Carrie and Mr. Big love to watch old movies, and begin with "It Happened One Night"-- where Carrie says (and who would say this in 2010?) that Claudette Colbert is so beautiful (?) She ain't Hedy Lamar!  Then again, neither is SJP!  Carrie soon gets fed up with Mr. Big lazing around the house and declares "We need to work on our sparkle!" Which of course I love, but the sparkle ends up not being so much cartwheels on a dance floor but... a diamond ring.

The movie begins with a big gay wedding.  Look for me here, and at the next day's brunch behind Samantha.  The gay wedding features the most unlikely pair of all time (Why?  Are audiences most comfortable with two gay men who have no chemistry or sex appeal) There is a rousing musical number by Liza Minnelli (what was she wearing at the premiere?!) performing "Single Ladies" with all the choreography.  I wish I could show you my Liza impression from set!

The girls promptly leave New York for Abu Dhabi (actually, Morocco) where the rest of the film takes place. Old Patricia Field really outdid herself with these costumes in the desert!  If you're looking for a 2.5 hour fashion show--here you have it.  Charlotte falls off a camel at one point and (ready to laugh?) gets up to find her outfit shows a camel-toe!  The audience went wild for that -ahem- and then Carrie runs into her old BF Aiden in the souk and they end up...kissing.

This is the central plot here: The kiss that could ruin her marriage!  How the audience screams in terror (especially those two girls behind me who couldn't bring themselves to ever watch a film like Precious) "Don't do itttttt!!!!" as Carrie kisses Aiden.  The film makes such a big deal of a kiss (punctuating it with Samantha getting arrested for kissing on the beach) and how it will bring down Carrie Bradshaw's entire world that I checked out mentally (thankful for gay films) until the hilarious part when Samantha drops her purse and condoms fall out and all these men get upset so she gyrates her hips and yells: "Yes, I FUCK!" 

In an absurd twist to grant muslim women some kind of "liberation"---the girls meet local women who hide beneath their black birkas...FABULOUS NEW YORK FASHIONS!  Yes, repressed women who get their hands chopped off or gang raped for driving a car without a male escort---care mostly about hiding the latest souk-purchased Gaultier beneath the birka.  Is there not something insidious in that?

On a side note, I just walked down 7th street at Avenue A and they are filming the Smurfs movie!  Are the smurfs taking over Manhattan for its fashion sense?  Has Vanity traded his mirror for some swanky East Village duds?  More importantly, is he sharing a love nest with Gargamel?

Back to the fiction: So how do our Abu Dhabi heroines get out of town when being chased by a mob of men angry at Samantha and her condom cache?  They run out in birkas.  Now it's a screwball!  They can't locate Charlotte until they spot her lavender Louboutin's (oh the mayhem!) and can't get a taxi until Carrie pulls up the birka to reveal a leg, in a totally inexplicable reference to the clip of Claudette Colbert she watched with Mr. Big.

Roger Ebert says in his review: Sex: about the same. City: Abu Dhabi. Two: half the movie's IQWhat can I say folks?  I liked it better than the first one!

1 comment:

superduper said...

so aiden is still married or divorced? he has a kid right?