Saturday, April 03, 2010

Naked Cowboy Gives Rides on Mechanical Bull

What a week!  If I wasn't standing in my underwear on stage after losing a strip-trivia game hosted by Epiphany and Sherry Vine, I was riding a mechanical bull at my friend (and fabulous actor) Gerald (it's a hared G!) McCullough's birthday bash in midtown.
Hot BDAY boy Gerald McCullough
 Of course no mechanical bull riding birthday (my thighs are still screaming!) would be complete without the Naked Cowboy!!! He came complete with floor length mink coat.  It's cold in Times Square!
With actor Kohl Beck and the naked Cowboy.  Looking just as good from behind!
Save a bull, ride a Naked Cowboy! 
The Naked Cowboy, aka Robert, is really sweet.  He also was a lot smarter than I am.  He dropped out of the race for Mayor this past year and when asked he replied.   "It was just a brief run." This totally went over my head.  "A brief run."

He really needs to start a comedy show because when told by a woman he should put a "sock" in his briefs he said, "Another one?"

He also mentioned he goes home a lot to Cincinnati, Ohio, at the whim of his mother.  When asked what his mother thinks of the "Naked Cowboy" he said, "Of course she loves it, she made the outfit."  So...."She works for Fruit of the Loom?" Nope.  "She gave me the GENES."  A ha!

While on the topic of good genes, I bumped into Matthew Ludwinski (star of the upcoming Going Down in La La Land) at Eastern Bloc and he showed me a page ad in Next Magazine with his photo.  He was scheduled to appear at Splash Bar and the title below his photo exclaimed: Featuring the Worldwide Sensation Matthew Ludwinski!" "I'm both honored and horrified at the same time!" he told me.
Worldwide sensation Matthew Ludwinski (left) on-set with sexy Co-Star Michael Medico
Worldwide Sensation is much preferable to what Jamie, the original Fruit Fli, endured recently in Park Slope when some queen called her a "Bag Lady Barbie".  "How am I supposed to take that?" Um, both honored and horrified?

No bag lady here!  Jesseonthebrink with Jamie T. Ranieri, original Fruit Fli! 
Here are more photos from Gerald McCullough's bull-riding bonanza!  Porn Maven Michael Lucas, and friends...
Just to be sure he packed in every cowboy on the island into his bday bash, Village People legend Randy Jones made it out!! Randy has a fun cameo in our upcoming film Violet Tendencies...
 Photographer Derek Storm captured this dramatic action.  What a shot!!
Of course after a night of bucking broncos, I came home and jumped on Bam Bam who was asleep.  I keep forgetting he has to work in the morning!!  He went into a fury in which he a) extracted a "fee" from my piggy bank of several hard earned quarters, b) googled the phrase "Fuck You Jesse Archer" which - to my abject horror - resulted in over 24,000 search results! and c) banished me to Cooldan's (aka "Wife #1) place until the following afternoon.

Not only do I physically disturb Bam's slumber, but it appears my freaky dream patterns have affected him.  He woke up the other morning so discombobulated that he didn't believe he was awake!!! When he finally did realize he was awake, he told me how his dreams were invading his other dreams.  He's still talking about it to this day!  "It was most bizarre," he says.

My own dreams have toned down the action and upped the kitsch.  One night my subconscious spent entirely with Jane Fonda.  Upon walking into her house, she was reading a book and exclaimed, "This author is so intriguing, so entirely delicious. I can't get enough."  I prompted her for the book's author, whereupon she closed the book, pointed to the title and said in a surprised voice: "The author is me!" 

The book I'm currently reading, in addition to "The God Part of the Brain" (Is there a part of our brain that needs religion?  Can we/should we wipe it out?  It's a fascinating topic, thanks Tony!) is Andrew Holleran's Dancer from the Dance.  This is a work of art that I am rapaciously consuming -- and by consuming I mean devouring. I would INGEST the thing if I could it is so breathtakingly beautiful.

Please do yourself a favor and purchase this, the best gay themed book of love quest, longing, hilarity, and NYC in the 1970's.  To think: Malone used to cruise the park right in front of Cooldan's place!  And he lived around the corner from me.  How things have changed in this city.  And yet how (from a human and homosexual nature) painfully prescient and necessary it remains today.


Tony said...

Hey Jesse -

Glad you're still liking "God Part of the Brain."
"Dancer" was one of the first gay-themed books I read when it first came out in paperback a zillion years ago. Thanks to your reminder, I'll have to read it again. Wonder if I can find that old paperback somewhere.

Sancho said...


Sadly I'm a week behind on your blog posts! I LOVE "Dancer from the Dance", Andrew Holleran is a great writer. I re-read that and Larry Kramer's "Faggots" about once a year if for only a brief glimpse/reminder of the world that came before me.