Wednesday, April 21, 2010

How to Speed Brainwash--in court!

How you doing out there?  Lots going on, let's play catch up! 

Congratulations to my friend Enrique Ramirez who's sexy Chelsea spa, Face to Face, just celebrated its 6th anniversary with Brazilian samba queens and all other manner of queens at VIG 27 last week!  If you ever need a facial, back-wax, or an anal bleaching (!)----you now know where you must go.

My friend Frantz Hall is one of the performers in the hit live talk show Q-Talk -- like a gay version of the VIEW.  Lovable Leslie Jordan even popped in to chat after finishing his show (My Trip Down the Pink Carpet).  I'm going to join the panelists for June's show.  In related good news: Frantz and his partner of 20 years, photographer Frank Louis are getting married this weekend! 

I caught La Cage aux Folles last week after my friend Daryl whisked himself down from Vermont and took me out!  This Broadway version was better than the five year ago version but why does nothing beat the French original?  In this one, the birth-mother never arrives.  Is it me, or doesn't the birth mother actually arrive in all other versions?  Not that I missed her.

The "cagelles" were fabulous (oh, if only I could high-kick!) but the real find here is Douglas Hodge, who plays Albin.  His rendition of "I am what I am" was everything it needed to be!  And a little bit more---as the lights caught all the spittle he kept spraying onto the front row.  And I never thought Kelsey Grammer was attractive before...but suddenly I am hot for Frasier.  Then someone told me Kelsey Grammer killed someone in his youth.  After poking around, I didn't find that.  But I did find that many members of his family have been killed in a tragedy.  Thankfully, the musical is anything but.

On Monday, my brother Ryan ran the Boston Marathon and finished in 2:52.  That's three minutes faster than my personal best.  Way to go, little bro!  Don't make me run another one to best you!!  You can keep the marathon crown (I'll keep the others, thank you)

My weeks long federal jury service is also finished and I must say the government looked particularly good during this case.  We convicted two sociopaths who needed to be stopped.  More later on that whole CIRCUS, but first a glimpse into the whole court reporter thing: 

You know it's not a typewriter they use?  It's this little magic machine with about twenty unmarked pads. They really are amazing, these reporters, because it looks like they're hardly touching that thing but then randomly, someone won't hear something, and they will have to read back what was said.  Inevitably, they read back every word as it was said (I'd want to correct bad grammar or paraphrase).

When I asked about the magic machine, the reporter told me the keys represent phonetics, and bits of phrases.  "Basically, they teach you brainwashing," she said.  "And then you go for speed." Speed brainwashing?  Wait til the Pope hears this!

A court reporter is like a conduit.  I asked if she processes any of what is being said?  "Sometimes a little," she answered.  "When it's slow." Which in this protracted case was a merciful blessing! 

This is my month for courtrooms.  I saw another judge in midtown Manhattan this week.  Remember the kerfuffle I had with the MTA police in October?  Both counts of disorderly conduct against me have been dismissed "in the name of justice".



Tony said...

Hey Jesse -

First of all, congrats on the dismissal of those ridiculous "cartwheel" charges. Nevertheless I'm still pissed off at those MTA cops.

Your brother Ryan's Boston Marathon time is beyond impressive. I think that works out to 6:33 per mile. Whoa!
And your PB is nothing to sneeze at either. But hey, we always knew you were fast. : )

Checked out the Face to Face spa website. I could seriously use one of those "age-defying" sessions.

How can we catch your June Q-Talk appearance, should we not happen to be in Manhattan in June?

Jesse Archer said...

Thanks, Tony!

Yup, you've got the mile pace worked out. I may have to stop drinking in order to catch him!

I think Q-Talk episodes may be filmed, if so I'll let you know :)

When's your next visit North?

The Blackout Blog said...

Very glad to hear those ridiculous charges got dropped.