Wednesday, April 14, 2010

1 Angry Man!

I'm so ready to light myself on fire, slash my wrists, and go out in a big bang of glory because that would at least add spice to my life.  Jury service, at least in the case of this particular trial, is like being put in the time out corner and forced to stare at... wait, I'm not allowed to talk about the case.  Added torture --- I can't even release!  But when this is over, beware the floodgates!

If my fellow jurors are supposed to be a mix of my peers let me just say...I love my peers!  They are awesome, and we have the most amazing bellow laughs during our ten minute breaks, twice a day.  You should have seen us the first day---totally rapt in court.  And now---we're moaning, chatting, sleeping, a friend gave me a Xanax which made one day bearable. I've come to realize they don't care what we do in the jury box, so long as we are there.  We could be playing a game of Gin Rummy for all they care.

In my illustrious role as Juror #7, I've gained like 10 pounds.  It's not just the slouching, but in the past three weeks I found the "5 dumplings for $1" joint in Chinatown!  It's actually a re-find: "Fried Dumplings" was my favorite hobosexual discovery EVER until it disappeared from 99 Allen Street in the LES about a year ago.  I figured it was health department violations, since it was at "Fried Dumplings" that I saw a worker woman collecting and stacking plastic plates from the garbage.  It's Chinese recycling, but I didn't think too much about that.  I'm GREEN, baby!

The Federal courthouse is at the southern edge of Chinatown and there, wandering, what do I see?  The same sign!  The same DAILY NEWS article (blown up and in Chinese) and the same address on the article: 99 Allen street.  Only it's now at Mosco Street?  Inside, the Chinese women chatter and wield spatulas with the same flour covered hands that take my dollar and deliver in return 5 juicy dumplings filled with a mystery meat.  I'm a VEGETARIAN, baby!

Beyond getting fat and pulling my hair out with frustration, anger, boredom, and the sheer fact I can't SCREAM as a juror...I had probably the most awkward experience of my entire life today when I somehow found myself alone in the elevator with the defendant.  There are lots of measures taken to make sure jurors do not mix, see, interact, even look at the lawyers, defendants, or witnesses...but there she was.  She got in the elevator and my jaw dropped.  Her eyes bulged and she turned around, became rigid as a corpse, and it occurred to me that the experience was kind of like what they see about seeing an animal in the wild: It's more scared of you, than you are of it.

They say summations should happen tomorrow.  I'm WARY, so wary. 

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