Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Ain't that Precious?

Is it just me, or do you see an obese black girl and think There goes Precious! I haven't even seen the movie myself, but I never realized how many obese black women there actually are in the city before Precious came out. They are everywhere. We are all Precious!

You know if we're thinking it, others are saying it. As if it wasn't hard enough to be an obese black girl before this movie came out! I think of the playground these days and just shiver.

The other night I went to the local leather bar, the EAGLE, with some friends and one of these friends is LINA. She leaves her purse for me to watch at the bar while she goes up to talk with the DJ and it's a big purse, with some bling and a zebra print. So this guy comes up to the bar and says, "That your purse?" I say no, it's my girlfriend's and he says, "Good, so I won't have to take you out back and shoot you."

I'm not even PC, but some jokes are never funny, not even from gay lips at the gay bar. I told him it actually was my purse and to $*#@& the *@*&!@* off!

Bam's recruiter invited us over for a dinner party this weekend. Katy is a really amazing cook and as I kept saying, "I'm a vegetarian!" as I ate her pulled pork and sausage. Am I supposed to starve when I'm hungry and there's nothing vegetarian? I'm one of those hypocritical fairweathered Flexitarians, or so I'm told.

Also at the party was Katy's sister Mim who is a licensed acupuncturist. I tell her I've got neck troubles and maybe she could help. "I've got my needles upstairs," she tells me and when I say, "Let's do it!" She tells me "Absolutely....after a few more drinks!" You've got to love that.

Cut to a few drinks later: I'm laying on the bed upstairs and party guests wander in to watch as Mim needles my hands feet and neck with a skill aided by Chardonnay. My neck felt great and I slept like a baby that night (once home, of course). In fact, Mim's touch was such an exotic party favor that Bam and I've decided we'll have to throw a party early next year in which Mim appears as the mainline attraction: an ACUparty! With Drunkupuncture!

2 comments:

Tony said...

Jesse honey, you ain't never lived 'til you been to a genu-ine North Carolina pig pickin'.

Pulled pork happens to be a specialty down in North Carolina, where it's called "Q", and served with a vinegar-based sauce in the eastern part of the state, and a tomato-based sauce in the western part of the state. Partisans of each style are totally, utterly irreconcilable.

Glad you took advantage of being a "flexitarian" when you sampled that pulled pork.

The Blackout Blog said...

I'd start an argument about pulled pork from SC, but I really never learned the nuances.

And yes, obese black women are everywhere. The combo of family tradition and the lack of access to quality food and nutritional education in poorer black communities add fuel to that fire.

Oh, and "an ACUparty! With Drunkupuncture!" I'd sure as shit better be on that guest list! You guys drink vodka, right? ;-)

(PS, my captcha word for this comment is "swine" ha!)