Tuesday, November 03, 2009

Holy Sweet Sexual Fluids!

Being under-employed, I've found some very amusing ways to pass my time. A couple weeks ago I got to judge a spokesmodel competition. I can't say the name of the product because it's not out yet, but it's a pill you take to make your sexual fluids taste sweeter. What!!? Hello, I could do this all day long. I got to interview pretty girls about blow jobs and why they've been waiting their whole lives for this product and how they would seduce a man with it. The day got so crazy and desperate that these pretty girls ended up saying things like, "I'm a reformed spitter..."

Priceless. I can't wait to show you the promo video when it's out!

I've also started volunteering with God's Love We Deliver, which is this amazing organization that delivers free meals to people living with AIDS and other deadly diseases. They opened a branch near me, so I'm their Friday delivery guy. They make really amazing full course meals which always make me really hungry. Most people just have me deliver to their doorman, but there is one man who seems really genuinely happy to see me each week...yes, there is that one man.

I have also been volunteering with GLAAD---on the curatorial sub-commmittee for their annual Art Auction benefit!

In the last few weeks, we whittled down the submissions to the top 100 pieces of art to be auctioned at the event. I convinced CoolDan to submit some of his zany photoshop art to see what happens. He calls it his "Fartwork" (see exhibit A for a sample of his fartwork)

Exhibit A:
This piece is not the one he submitted, but one of his pieces did get selected! Since I was part of the curatorial committee, he thought for sure I had something to do with it---really, I didn't--but when it was announced he will be included, I got this message:

They accepted my fartwork at the GLAAD auction!! How many blowjobs did you have to give?
Several dozen. I owe you.

The star-studded event is on November 15, and we're in the final push for ticket sales. If you're an art lover, admirer, or just want to support this organization for all the work it does to promote positive GLBT messages in advertising and the media...please help and buy a ticket here!

1 comment:

Bob Frank said...

I love that piece by Cooldan.