Saturday, May 02, 2009

A Gay in the Life. Gawd.

Pro-Marijuana march going up First Avenue right now and that's just where the random-ness begins. Last night I was out to all hours all over the east village and ended up somehow at D-Tox where porn star Ben Andrews was having a DVD release party and giving out dildos molded in the shape of his very own cock....and his mother was there, too. I know! I wish my mom was that supportive!

Anyway...I was drunk and watching his new porn on the tv's at D-Tox and there's one scene where someone is getting fingered, and I decide to do one of my favorite things at the bar which is to take a verbal poll. So I walk around to strangers and ask "I'm not sure about fingers in asses, what's your opinion?" to get a concensus.

I was stymied when one of my respondents started being very difficult. "I don't want to answer that," he said and he's staring at the porn on tv with intent, trying to ignore me, so I press him for a simple yes or no. "Fingers or no fingers for you?" and he gets huffy, "I told you, I don't feel comfortable answering that question. I don't even know you!" I'm like, are you running for office or something? As if I was gonna blog about his answer the next day.

So I wake up today and my hangover is competing with yesterdays hangover for hangover of the year...and I'm lonely because Bam Bam is in Australia and my best friend is in Beirut and my two friends are moving to San Francisco and in addition to the lonely and the hangover I'm in a dazy haze somewhere between the marijuana march and the Kentucky Derby...when I get this email offer in my inbox from a complete stranger:

I am an interesting and active gay man looking for an attractive man to have some great fun. I will make him comfy! Are you interested in having some fun with me? I can do good blowjobs, suck his cock hard and jerk him off as he likes. I live in Flushing main street area in NY. So, let's have some fun together. By the way, are you a gay man?

What? Madness!!! Today is complete fucking madness.

4 comments:

herbert said...

Life ís madness Jesse...
X

Don said...

Jesse,

I would give anything to trade my madness for your madness.

Don

Anonymous said...

ummm . . . ive heard that your business associate and luncheon partner beat it for the hills too!

love and a huge hug,

mich

The Blackout Blog said...

No fingers for me, thanks.