Thursday, May 07, 2009

All Jokes Are Off

Don is one of my regular readers. He often leaves blog comments, and we've emailed back and forth often. He's in his 60's and lives in Pennsylvania, and...he recently came out!! He often tells me how he wishes he came out when he was younger, to be able to enjoy the gay life as a young man. But if he did that, he wouldn't have his two wonderful kids. It's all a trade-off, right?

His wife ran out on him and his two kids 30 years ago and he raised them as a single father, which was no easy task because he said people judged single fathers and thought there must be something terribly wrong with him. They wouldn't let their children play with his kids at their house, for example. This of course only made the bond he had with his children stronger.

Don has been losing weight and getting fit and feeling really good and his children are super supportive of their father's new life. Over a week ago, his son Donnie (who is my age) went shopping with his dad to buy him some new shorts and then he went fishing with some friends and never returned home. This was very unlike him, and friends and relatives quickly gathered to find him. Donnie is still missing.

This story only gets stranger. They found Donnie's truck in the woods, burned out, but no Donnie. It also appears the police have made arrests, but Don can't say because of the ongoing investigation. I've been following this story closely on Don's Facebook page since it happened, offering support and hoping that I would soon see that his son and friend has been found alive and well. That now seems unlikely, and Don is right now living a parent's worst nightmare.

I can't pretend to understand what he's going through, but I imagine that seeing people going about their daily business as if the world has not stopped must seem the height of insult. So I just want to write here and ask everyone who reads this to please stop your world for a second and wish some peace upon this man, and to send vibes and energy that his son will be found. Don, my heart goes out to you.


Shirley said...

Jesse, thank you for writing this blog. Don is the most wonderful man I've ever had the honor of knowing. I've been able (Over the past few months) to hear first hand what a amazing son Donnie is. (I still have hope). Just a couple of weekends ago, Don went to his first gay club. Because he had lost so much weight he didn't have anything to wear. When he got ready to try and find something, he walked into his room to find that his son, Donnie had bought his brand new Armani shirts and a pair of tight fittin' jeans just for the occasion. And not only did Donnie get Dad ready for his first night out, he joined him and they had a blast together! What a fantastic son, who could have only been raised by a loving, wonderful dad!!

My heart and soul goes out to this man and to Donnie. I am here for him and will continue to be.

And Jesse, I must say that your support has meant a lot to him as well. Thank you.

Tony said...

Hey Jesse -

Don's story is one of the most heart-rending things I've ever heard.
He certainly has my sincerest sympathy, and wishes for the fortitude to get through this and eventually find a measure of peace.
Thanks for letting us know.

Eddie in OKC said...

Please let Don know that I, along with many others, I'm sure, am thinking about him and Donnie. And wishing for them the best possible outcome.

Bob said...

I can't think of anything worse that could happen to a parent. I have been thinking about this ever since I read it. If Don is reading these comments, I want to let him know that I am thinking of him and his son. I saw the news clip you provided to us. His son is a handsome man and, from what you wrote here and from what other people said in the clip, he's obviously a fine man also.
I hope that Don is getting support from friends and family. Please, Jesse, let us know how this turns out.

Shane said...

Don's posts here are always heartfelt and I follow his blog Learning to Fly. My prayers that his son will be ok.

carmel said...

that would be the worse nightmare ever. i feel so much for don... i hope it turns out positively...

Anonymous said...

How awful, I can only, like the rest of you, hope for a miracle. It is sad when a tragedy like this happens, we realize that the rest of the world goes on as usual. This fact struck me last summer. I was leaving my building early one Sunday morning, when I noticed a van removing a body from a nearby building. The body was on a gurney and accompanied by a building attendant and an elderly women. I gave the event no further thought until later that day as a walked through Washington Square Park. I saw people playing frisbee, running and having a merry old time. Thats when that brutal fact hit me! I guess we can only accept life as it is and enjoy whatever time we have.

Don, I wish you the best and many of us are thinking of you.

Your Friend Jimmy

sanjha said...

I found a blog surfing on the internet which is called paid to joke. I am going to have a try for that. Who knows they will pay or not but it will be good to calm nerves reading some good jokes.

Don said...

I want to personally thank each of you for your comments and Jesse for posting this blog entry. It has made it easier for me to get through this nightmare.

Sadly, there is nothing I can say to update you on the any of this. Donnie is still missing, little searching is now being done since the area is so large and we have run out of ideas as to where to begin, and due to the length of time and a few things the police know there is very little hope of finding him alive. My daughter and grandchildren are not doing well with all of this - we try to prop each other up on a daily basis. Lots of visits from family has helped.

Once we know something, if ever, I will update Jesse and he may wish to update all of you via his blog.

Again, my sincere thanks to all for caring - there are still good people in the world and you are proof of that.