Friday, March 13, 2009

Gym Junkies

Recently I re-joined the city gym because it's close to my house and it's cheap and there's absolutely no "scene". Wait, what am I saying!!!

The city gym is really genius. There are all sorts of types--from the country-western looking pair doing partner-pilates (I call them the "Clampets") to the super-hot Latino guy who has no idea how supermodel hot he is, to the black guys running around in "So you went to college? I went to the school of hard knocks!" t-shirts, to the guy who looks like Yosemite Sam and is chatting up all the juicy booty ladies....all the time. Anyway, THIS is the city gym.

I went back because of their FABULOUS recesssion special. The city gym is now only $36 for 6 months! Of course, it used to be free. And whoever says that Obama is a socialist can just stop right now because we were socialists long before Obama. Like at this city gym, when it was free, all the homeless would come in and take showers. There is nothing more appetizing than seeing a homeless man shower. They have lesions the size of Alabama, and they actually multi-task by washing their clothes in the shower! Genius!

Since they started charging to the gym, I haven't seen the homeless in there, but I have good news! I asked about them! Turns out the homeless are given a time, I think it's every Monday, to come in and do their showering (and wash!) still for free. But anyway, I was at the city gym this week and there was this guy who is way too buff, kind of looks like a white bullfrog he's so big, and he's standing before the barbell rack and then I look closer and he's drooping. He's, yes, he is NODDING OUT! And I think that's pretty fantastic that you can do heroin and then go to the gym. In fact, if I was to do heroin, I would definitely want to do something productive like go to the gym. So there he is, nodding out like a total junkie at the gym and nobody is caring. I don't think anyone else even noticed. I do my whole workout and 40 minutes later he's still in front of the barbells, managing to do a couple of tricep curls, blissfully high on heroin.

I was pretty depressed to return to the city gym. But why did I ever leave? This is so on the brink, and all I can think is I'm paying only $6 a month for a gym, entertainment included!

1 comment:

The Blackout Blog said...

Thanks for posting this! I just realized I'm walking distance from TWO rec centers that don't have indoor pools (i.e., less $$)!

I was going to join the one in Hell's Kitchen near my job, but the weight room was about the size of my bedroom.