Sunday, February 22, 2009

Boot Scoot Boogie

Dosey-Do! Went country line-dancing last night at the Big Apple Ranch with Bam Bam and Anita Private. Highly recommended! Unlike my very bad experience at Remingtons country- western bar in DC, people here in Chelsea were friendly. One hot pro named Shawn picked me from the sidelines and tried to help me learn the two-step, offering excellent tips like, "Press your dick against my thigh!" But the real pick-up line came from another gentleman who says to me, after watching my amateur attempts, "How long have you been doing this?!" as if he were impressed. Ha! Too, too kind.

The two-step looks easy. It even sounds easy. But still, Bam Bam and I were a bumbling mess around the dance floor as we tried, pathetically, to implement the "Quick, quick, slow, slow" pattern. Anita Private just sat on the sidelines drinking. Each time we'd stumble past her, she'd yell out to heckle us, "Like a pair of gazelles!!!"

Or the very astute and highly humiliating, "This is better than cable!!!"

2 comments:

AJ said...

Sorry you didn't master the cowboy line-dance. With a little more practice you will. Then it's off to master the Can Can.

The Blackout Blog said...

I drug about 20 of my friends to do this for my birthday last summer. It was an absolute disaster (mostly because we were all wasted). But the people were friendly.

Oh god, don't even get me started on the Broadway audition that was the teaching of the line dance!