Saturday, January 17, 2009

Something Fishy in Sydney!

It's so damn cold in NYC that my lip split and there's blood everywhere. That's what I get for smiling!

Let's go back to Sydney for a moment. Life's a beach for the boys down there, but can we talk about them for a moment? The gays in Sydney are absolutely obsessed with the white canvas shoe. The worst thing is, I don't think they even notice it. But I did. I noticed it last march, noticed it last month. The trend has not lost any steam!

It's all about white shoes down under. Generally the canvas loafer, but it could be a pointy toe dress shoe, or an imitation Keds. I don't pretend to know what's up with that.

The boys sure are hot, though. And with bodies as hard as a wombat's ass!!! Just check out my gorgeous new friends Stefan and Sam, below.

They are probably wearing white canvas shoes.
I may not understand the white shoe phenomenon, but I do know what's up with the little empty fish-shaped plastics littering the night clubs! You know the tiny plastic fish that come filled with soy sauce? You get them sometimes at Chinese Restaurants? There's something fishy going on at the Sydney clubs. These fish are the perfect size to hold one...wait for it...dose of GHB!

No mess, no overdose, trust the fish...Geez, boys. Can't we pick a less-lethal drug of choice?

The boys are also really into another G: gluten. What exactly is gluten? I have no idea! But all the restaurants here are advertising "Gluten-Free!" options. I'm assuming gluten is the 2009 answer to the 2005 assault upon carbohydrates (did they survive?). Let me be the first to predict a major gluten-free fad coming your way soon!

Alternatively, you could always exercise (refer to photo of Stefan and Sam above). I do believe these boys stole my abs. Ok, fine. I traded my abs for lamingtons.

On second thought, maybe winter is a good thing. Layers!

And bloody lips.


Jeffrey said...

Read your column in the lastest "Out" -- excellent piece if unexpectedly solemn (although the subject matter merits that). Tell Bam that life with you looks pretty sweet to me

Jesse said...

Thanks, Jeffrey.

Ha, I will!