Sunday, January 25, 2009

Look out, Buenos Aires!

As a side note to Bam Bam's snuggie post "blanket with sleeves! As seen on tv!" I have to add that the snuggie, although practical, sheds like a motherfucker! Recently, I tossed aside my snuggie--as well as the winter AND the recession---and headed down to Buenos Aires, Argentina!!

It was my friend Mich Lyon's 50th birthday celebration down here so I couldn't miss that. He looked stunning in his blond evita bun wig...calling to the masses from his four star balcony at the "hetero-friendly" -don't you love that- gay Hotel Axel! Mich's birthday was the perfect excuse to come catch back down to see friends and relive this beautiful dump of a city I love so much.

I haven't been back since 2003. The most remarkable changes I've noticed since arrival:

1. There are no more sleazy backrooms in the night clubs! Turns out, this is not due to any sort of moral upgrade, but there was a disco fire (a straight disco) that killed about 400 people in 2004. All the discos have new fire hazard regulations and that means...no deep dark labyrinthine corners for getting anonymous thrills. It also probably means a lot less wallet theft.

2. There are no coins! It's a true economic crisis! To ride the bus, which only takes coins, you have to take drastic measures---buy something from a kiosk, just to get the coins. The common lament, "No hay monedas!" is as pervasive as a good steak. For example, sometimes you can't even buy a soda if you don't have exact change. They'd rather not sell you something---than part with their precious coins. Word on the streets is it's a scam by the bus companies who horde their coin collection....and then sell it off for a big percentage profit. Oh, Argentina! Does it never end?

My friend Thomas is an amazing photographer--(he lived here when I did, and lives here now again) and he covers this crisis hysterically in a post on his photo blog Buenos Aires Photographer. I love the pic, "No hay monedas..POR DIOS!" "We don't have change, GOD!" ..."God" as in "stop asking!!"

3. If you read my book, You Can Run, you know I wrote about two ex-boyfriends who live down here. There's Walter...and there's Gabriel. They used to hate each other, couldn't even be near one another. But I was so happy to be down here and see them both that the other night I just decided to invite both of them to dinner and see what would happen. Not only did they speak amicably, it turns out...shock of shocks...that Walter is suddenly, madly, attracted to Gabriel. The only thing Walter doesn't like about Gabriel now...is that he has a boyfriend. "A lot has changed in ten years, Walter!" I tell him and Walter just says, "Gabriel didn't look like that ten years ago!!!"

Pictures of everyone coming soon--promise!

In another example of the everlasting truth we know as changing-times....my friend Lair (down here also for Mich's birthday) was mistaken late last night for Elton John. Someone actually leaned out of a taxi to scream "ELTON JOHN!!!!!" Lair's been despairing ever since. He took a good long look in the mirror this morning and lamented, "When I was younger and skinnier and in London, I got mistaken for David Beckham...."

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

LOL!!! You just HAD to tell that story, didn't you.. I hope the hotel is still standing and you're enjoying the rest of your stay! See you soon..
Lair

Edina Monsoon said...

Does Bam Bam let you go off on your own? I think I'd keep you locked in the cellar to keep you out of mischief!

Eds

PS Am off to Musical Mondays tonight. Someone has to keep the flame alive while you're out of town

xoxo

Jesse Archer said...

Hi Edina! Yes, thankfully Bam Bam lets me make mischief. He has to work while I strike Evita poses all over tango-town.

Hope Musical Mondays was sweaty.

Edina Monsoon said...

It was mildly sweaty. Though one could hear the hushed whispers of "Where's Jesse tonight?"

Mark my words. New York City will pull you back from Buenos Aires like umbilical whiplash!

Splash is Black Night tonight. Perhaps I'll go back.

xo

Eds