Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Chocolate News!

I've searched relentlessly to find an audio or video clip, but have you seen what David Alan Grier is doing over at Chocolate News? This guy is killing me--today rants on Beyonce's whitification.

But his best stuff is when he dresses up to lampoon pulitzer prize-winning poet Maya Angelou. The following two are my favorite (and if you find a way to actually hear this performed, please do). All I can find are the transcripts, but below Maya Angelou endorses Butterfingers.

Maya Angelou For Butterfingers:

Announcer: And now, Maya Angelou for "Butterfingers"
David Alan Grier (dressed up as Maya Angelou):

The wind. The rain. The fire.

The Butterfinger.

Did the Caveman know your delicious goodness?
Did the Mayan Priest exhalt in your buttery crunchiness?
Did the slothful Mastodon, upon his extinction, declare,
"Don't lay a finger on my Butterfinger?"

Oh, you finger of butter!
You proud confection!
Sugar brown roasted peanuts,
fructose, glucose, sucrose, lactose,
partially hydrogenated palm kernel oil.
Crispity, crunchity, peanut buttery--

I... give... myself... to... you.


Glad mantle of golden chocolaty hope upon my breast.


Anonymous said...

Jesse, I caught David Alan Grier discussing Chocolate news on the Tavis Smiley show on PBS. It was a delightful discussion. Movienut

Stephen Reynolds said...

I downloaded 5 episodes and they are hilarious!!! Candelabra Effervescence Tranny was killer :)