Thursday, December 04, 2008

The Bum--or Why Liberals Can Be Annoying

I'm walking down lower Fifth Avenue when I see this homeless guy. He's not one of those hopelessly down and out mentally ill types. He actually looks like one of the well-spoken scripted homeless you see on the subway. Then he asks me for money.

"Sorry," I say politely. And he says, "Faggot!"

I don't know why I can 't just keep walking, but I turn back around to shout, "Loser!"

Out of nowhere, another faggot who is far swishier than me glares me down and says, "Did you call him a loser?!"

"But you didn't hear what he said. He called me a..."

"Just...LOOK AT YOU," he sneers. It's then I realize that I am dressed up, hair combed back; I'm actually wearing a button-down shirt. I look like an uppity snob.

Lickety-split, the gay boy has pulled a five dollar bill out of his wallet and given it to the bum who smiles, snarkily, in my direction. I can't really believe what just transpired, but I walk off knowing I look like the asshole. And the bleeding heart gay just contributed $5 to his enemy.

6 comments:

The Blackout Blog said...

Haha, you're the gay Seinfeld.

Was the other gay cute? Ugly queens will find any excuse to upstage.

Anonymous said...

Jesse,

I do not that you looked like an asshole. That moron who gave $5 to that gay-basher and defended him calling you a faggot is the asshole. I admire people who give money to legitimate charities, I give money to animal shelters all the time. However, I don't give money to anyone begging in the streets. It only encourages more panhandling, fraud and homelessness. Let them go to city shelters where they can be treated properly.
More aggrevating is the notion that another gay person thought it was acceptable for somebody to call you a faggot. Political correctness run amok I suppose.

Your friend Jimmy

jpfreeman said...

The world is a vampire, sent to drain, secret destroyers, hold you up to the flames, And what do I get for my pain?

Betrayed desires, and a piece of the game.

Anonymous said...

Read "Holiday on Ice"? What happened to you reminded me of the last story in the book about neighbors who have to one-up each other giving to the poor each year at Christmas. Forget both those losers.

Anonymous said...

I don't know who I hate more: bleeding heart gays or bigoted bums. Jeeze....

Audrey said...

This seems to happen to you a lot. I still laugh at the n-word story.