Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Sloppety Slop Slop. Oink!

The nightlife scene in Montreal blows away anything in NYC. Alright, the bar scene in NYC is great, but Montreal still has big, bad, bangin' clubs. Imagine that! Multi-leveled dance floors, blasting music, and people actually dancing (with shirts off!) That's in addition to their world class male strip joints...

The problem with Montreal nightlife is...the drinks. After about 20 vodka/pineapples, I still hadn't gotten a buzz. Turns out nobody else had either! They have a cap on each pour of about, um, 1ml of booze. So in Montreal, we alcoholics turn to drinking BEER (can you believe it?) at the bar because at least they can't mess with the alcohol content of beer.

After figuring out that racket, we started drinking in our hotel room and smuggling our own hooch to the club. Problem solved! Once sufficiently liquored up, I actually look forward to leaving the club, so I can devour a 3 am plate of Montreal's deliciously disgusting POUTINE.

When I think about Poutine now, during the day, it actually makes me nauseous. This "cuisine" is a jumble of 1) french fries, 2) gravy, and 3) cheese curds. If you're really feeling decadent, you can order the deluxe version which comes with peas and chicken chunks. Eww! What sick fuck invented this recipe?

In Montreal, I eat it every night. Poutine is the best drunk food since the greasy bacon-wrapped hot dogs they sell late-night on Santa Monica Boulevard.

Poutine Carnage: it felt like a good idea at the time.


Dtown~S said...

When I was in New York I couldn't believe the way bartenders free poured the booze into the glasses. After 2 drinks my throat was raw, the lights grew dimmer and I was seeing celebrities.

I love that you focussed this post on our proud national dish. I prefer my poutine with viande fumée (smoked meat!).

The Blackout Blog said...

Honey, pregaming is the way to go no matter what city you're in! It's not drinking by yourself if there are other people on the train (but you didn't hear that from me).

Mark in DE said...

Montrealers love their poutine. It actually looks more gross than it sounds, amazingly.

Mark :-)

Queer Nerd said...

I had my first bacon wrapped hot dog on Santa Monica last night! It was licious. I guess poutine is the next stop.