Monday, June 09, 2008

Weepy Weekend

I don't cry that often. Last week, though, I saw a film called Summer Storm and my eyes got a little wet. It's a German gay coming of age film, and though not perfectly crafted, it got my eyes a little wet--and gave me a hard on. Which is a first.

Then Cooldan took me to the True Colors tour (click here to see tour dates) to catch Cyndi Lauper, the B-52's, John Cameron Mitchell, Margaret Cho, Indigo Girls, Carson Kressley (who I never liked before, but as MC I think he's got a new career--he was funny!) and many other talented performers there in the name of GLBT equality. Rosie O'Donnell was there, too, and did a monologue so touching and poignant, everyone in the audience shed a tear. Me, included.

But then there was Saturday.

Over the last year, I've been watching Six Feet Under regularly. I never saw it when it was on HBO, so I've been netflixing, and in the last few months I've slowed down my episode intake because I didn't want it to end. On Saturday, with trepidation, I put in the series finale.

This show is excellent--the writing, the acting, just all of it, so I was expecting a spectacular finish. Nothing could have prepared me for just how spectacular. I was lucky not to read or hear any spoilers, so if you haven't seen Six Feet Under and plan to--stop reading now.

In the final ten minutes, during Claire's drive to New York City to begin a new life, the creators began quickly advancing through the years and killing off every one of the cast. It took me a few minutes to realize what they were doing; I couldn't believe what was happening. I wanted to shout STOP! but couldn't. I was bawling my head off so much that the screen wasn't even in focus, but Claire kept driving. She just kept driving forward. Knowing it would one day all end.

I cried all day -- all through the (blah) Sex and the City film I saw later, even as I ate chips and dip at a party at night. In short, death ruined my weekend. Funny, right? Why doesn't it ruin each day? We know life will kill us, and yet we manage to go on each day.

Everyone living seems so unbelievably courageous to me now.

9 comments:

Tyson said...

Oh Jesse....I completely agree. 6FU is possibly the most perfectly crafted show ever.

I still can't listen to "Breathe Me" by Sia without shedding a tear, and constantly wonder what's been going on in the lives of the Fisher family.

Eddie said...

Sundays aren't the same since. Thanks for bringing back good memories!

oboist24 said...

I LOVE Summer Storm, have it on DVD. If you shed a tear on that, you would've balled at "The Sensei" which played last weekend at NewFest. Very compelling film about the pre-AIDS era/crisis. Oh, and Casper's "BTW Love and Goodbye" was okay...not as a funny as AFLW, wondered what it would've been like had you been casted as the manipulating-tranny sista instead of Rob Harmon.

jpfreeman said...

Courageous? I suppose, but that all depends on how you define "living."

Michael said...

Like you, I watched SFU after the fact, and when I was done, I wasn't done. That series stuck with me for weeks. I mourned the loss of the Fischers. Perfect finale to one of the best series television shows ever. (Besides, this is the show that turned me on to Justin Theroux, who's been turning me on and on and on ever since.) I remember watching these episodes and then going to a blog that had recapped them years before. And commenting! Such was my need to bond over this clan. Oh god I'm rambling and gushing again.

Sandra your naughty owner ... said...

Hey Jesse my hottest pet, look what you've done to me, your writing again has moved me to tears in my eyes ...

I told you I'll be so regular of your hot visitor here, so now I'm here to hug you after reading your such beautiful sharing, you think I'm flattering you, but I'M NOT, I just love reading your heart-felt sharing, and anyone writing with heart could just move me to tear-runnin, that's me, honey, I've got the softest weapon - tears to give all the time when I'm touched by any SOUL ... and your such a beautiful spirit, do you know, honestly I've never expect to be this closely connected to you, not after reading your writing and I started to see how beautiful you're. And I wish I was there next to you as your best buddie when you feel upset by the 6FU endin, I had the same breakdown when Queer As Folks ended, and I've got to go youtube every night to just watch the fan's vids for comfort ... so darling, like you said, SURVIVE TO LIVE is such a brave act, and I so apprciate your last statement to adore everyone's living now ... YES they're all heros to me like you and Charlie who are so brave to live as who you're with a pride + amazing inner beauty, not every gay can have this quality no matter how famous they're, but you certainly are that one kind with such a beautiful quality ... again don't think I'm saying flattering words, I'm such a person sayin the beautiful things with my heart so you can take them comfortably for they're so from my inner heart ya ...

Love - Sandra :)

Tony said...

Hey Jesse -

Totally by coincidence, last night I was reading about this controversial German philosopher, Martin Heidegger, for a study group I'm in (don't try this at home). Here's a quote that fits in with the last two paragraphs of this post, I think:

"If I take death into my life, acknowledge it, and face it squarely, I will free myself from the anxiety of death and the pettiness of life - and only then will I be free to become myself."

As you suggest, it takes a lot of courage to do that, because it's pretty scary. Anyone who manages to succeed is living an "authentic" life, according to the philosopher.

May we all succeed in living an authentic life.

Anonymous said...

Hi Jesse, Not to change the subject, but there is some mention of gay movies here. Once again, I really enjoyed SHELTER. It concerned a believable family dynamic; perhaps, but not really a "coming out" film. The two men are nice looking, ordinary and real. I am a sucker for happy endings and tender love scenes. There was no fundamentalist crap, gay bashings, murder, AIDS, drug or alcohol abuse and everyone was alive at the end. What more could I ask for? bruce

Anonymous said...

Six Feet Under, Jesse, as we were driving through New Mexico, I brow-beat my partner into stopping, no matter how early, at the first motel that advertised HBO so we could watch the next episode of 6ft.under. I read mention of the plot before the first episode and thought "too weird for me". I did watch anyway and was hooked. Next,I had my partner, friends, family, dentist and anyone who would listen, also hooked. (on the other hand, my other half was obsessed with Carnivale).
Since then, I have continued to follow my new 'friends' from the cast: Peter Krause-Dirty Sexy Money, Michael C. Hall (do NOT miss Dexter, weirdly lovely), Lauren Ambrose-sexy chick in gay Psycho Beach Party, Mathew St. Patrick-Tides of War (catch the open-mouth kiss, swimming pool love scene between macho Adrian Paul (Highlander) and Mike Doyle-29th and Gay), Rachel Griffiths-Brothers and Sisters, Jeremy Sisto-Kidnapped(yeow),Eric Balfour (another yeow), Texas Chainsaw Mass. Lie with me (pure frontal SEX), "24", singer in Born Ghosts, James Cromwell-Spider Man, "24", Robert Foxworth and Joanna Cassidy-Kiss the Bride (very nice gay comedy), Illiana Douglas-Angela (my all-time favorite, kinky-strange mortician), Ruth Conroy-ER and Shelter (not the gay film, Shelter), Lily Taylor-Anne Frank, and more, but GOTTA STOP. movie nut