Wednesday, May 28, 2008

So Much More Than Words

The International Mr. Leather weekend: It's sort of like drag. Without high heels or makeup.

Here I am with urinal-man. He has a basin attached to his front, where you can pee into. The costume is outfitted with tubes that funnel piss from the basin into long gaiter boots, so I presume he just sloshes around in urine all day.

"You want me to pee on you here?" I asked him, and he replied from beneath the mask all outraged, "This is a hotel ballroom!" Yes, this is a hotel ballroom. And you're a rubber urinal.

To give you an idea of how unphased people were by the presence of urinal man, I overheard someone see him and casually mutter, "That suit must have cost him at least $5,000."

Twink bondage. This kid is happy as a pig in shit!

More fetish party participants. We had football players, moto-studs, and hockey players.

Houdini? I have absolutely no idea.

Take me away, officers!

Happy to report that Walt Whitman made it to the party, escorted by a decorated captain.

Fist meets Piss. A match made in heaven, and a metaphysical dilemma wrapped in one.

I was able to take down at least one tight end.

Uh oh! Can't hold it? In the ballroom bathroom, urinal-man was in heavy demand.

He kept directing people to piss in his basin, but when someone (was it me?) pissed all over his mask, one heard his muffled lament, "Now I'm gonna have to wash off...."

14 comments:

You said...

Where is Urinal Man when I need him? I think these boys should hang out on busy NYC corners near Chelsea bars. It'd be a Win-Win situation for everyone!

Parker Pines said...

Thanks for the add! Love your blog, of course. I'm totally adding you to Blogs We Heart. And I know that Jesse, always sparkling, can do no fashion wrongs. ;)

x,
parker pines
http://www.pinespunch.blogspot.com/

Elusha De Luxe said...

Republican Party Campaign 2008 Commercial: 30 seconds of footage from the 2008 IML, interspersed with 30 seconds of fluffy white wedding ceremonies.

With terrific rights come terrific responsibilities. I am no fan of gay marriage. But people who are (like our host Jesse) can't have it both ways. You're either mainstream or you're a pissing stream. You can't be both. So make up your mind.

Jesse Archer said...

Why can't you have it both ways? They're not terrific rights, they're equal rights. There's no reason someone who likes a piss of stream shouldn't be allowed the same legal rights (tax breaks, inheritance, hospital visits, and all the other rights associated with marriage) as anyone else. For me, for many, marriage is not about being mainstream or making babies.

I'm fine with uneducated, toothless Appalachians marrying. So why do you have a problem with urinal man doing the same thing?

Elusha De Luxe said...

Jesse, you may wistfully reflect on childhood memories of your Pops pissing in your Mom's mouth while she was cooking the Thanksgiving turkey. Personally I would worry about it getting into the gravy.

If marriage to you is just about a collection of rights, then that can be achieved through Civil Union legislation. Gay marriage advocates want more. They want their lifetime unions to be celebrated by their state and by their fellow citizens. "You may now Piss on the Bride" doesn't quite meet that standard.

Jesse Archer said...

Elusha,

I do not have that particular memory, but I do have a not-so-wistful memory of my parents wanting to disown me for being gay.

It doesn't make sense to me that we should deny even piss-pigs anything anything other freaks (and I consider people who believe in virgin births to be freaks) are granted, under the same name.

I suppose you would've granted interracial couples not marriage, but something more along the lines of "mixed-raced mingling"?

Civil unions don't cut it in regards to partner benefits, employer insurance (as evinced by the recent ruling in NJ)and also as shown in gay couples where one is foreign born.

If civil unions granted everything marriage did, which they don't, I'd be all for em.

Elusha De Luxe said...

Is

"uneducated, toothless Appalachians"

another way of saying

"people I wouldn't even piss on"

???

And the Grabby for Most Bourgeois Comment of The Year goes to.....

Elusha De Luxe said...

Jesse,

Thanks for all the great times I've spent reading this blog. But now I'm taking my leave. As one of the "freaks" who still actually believes in absurdities like the Virgin Birth and that we were put on this earth to do more than simply go the toilet on each other, I'm headed elsewhere.

All the best to you and your readers.

Elusha de Luxe (formerly Dame Daxx)

xxxooo

Jesse Archer said...

Dear Elusha/Dame Daxx (Love both your names, and you too, dear),

And for all I know--the man beneath the rubber urinal was an "uneducated, toothless Appalachian" so yes, my love to all.

I'll miss you...

Danny said...

Wow, that Elusha's really pissed!

Michael said...

With terrific rights come terrific responsibilities.

That's bullshit. Marriage is a basic civil right afforded to any citizen of this country, regardless of their behavior or comportment. It's only because we're gay that many of our own expect us all to behave in a certain manner to be granted this right. There's a degree of self-loathing in that, in my opinion.

PS And thank you, Jesse, for not tiptoeing around the ridiculousness that is Christianity. All these people laugh at the cults in Texas or the celebrity Scientologists, when their own religions (all of them) are every bit as ridiculous.

Sancho said...

I have to say, I love the discussions that crop up in blog comments...especially yours Jesse =)

Elusha: I didn't know there were moral rules now for marriage licenses. There's quite a lot of straight couples that need to have theirs revoked if that is the case. I think you need to decide if what you want is "equality" or "conformity", the two do not go hand in hand.

Jesse: Please keep being who you are and saying what you feel. Too many people censor themselves or their words, it is like a breath of fresh air to have someone who tells it exactly like it is.

Personally, after long debate, my friends and I have come to the conclusion that we believe "marriage" should be a ceremony and union that is exclusive to religion. If you are joined by a holy man/woman, it should be a marriage. If you are joined by a the state, it should be a civil union. Under the law they should both be viewed the same with the only difference should be the name.

oboist24 said...

all I can say is AMEN SISTA!!!!! Jesse you ROCK!!!

Shane said...

urinal man?

Im speechless.......for once