Sunday, May 25, 2008

Every Dog Deserves a Bone

Just when you think you've seen everything:

The Regency Ballroom at the Hyatt Hotel in Chicago held "Woof Camp" - a dog run...for "pups" and their "handlers" and then of course, their fans. To a person like me, the idea of watching grown men crawl around with dog chew toys is tantamount to winning the lottery.

Woof camp was a hoot. These are some playful bitches! I played some fetch, petted a Doberman in diapers, and even picked up a really sweet Asian stray, for a few minutes.

I tried to pull this toy out of the doggie's mouth. But he held fast and growled.

Here we see the "pup tail" butt plug in action. I was forced to resist the very strong temptation to pull it out.


At one point, a "handler" dangled this Scooby Doo pinata, and all the doggies scrambled over to paw it to pieces. Definitely a highlight.

I knew "Woof Camp" would be pure gold, so we brought a video camera and taped the whole affair. I even interviewed some of the breeds (who barked their glee) and their handlers who told me how most leather parties are now incorporating dog runs into their events.

I really want to edit it and show it to you here.

But, get this, two security guards came over and asked for our press credentials. Of course we didn't have any, so they started getting tough and telling us we'll get evicted from the hotel and then they wanted to see the camera. I presumed they were going to take the camera, or at least confiscate our footage, and I was just drunk enough (hell to the no!) to not let that happen.

I quickly snatched the videocamera out of my friend Danny's hands and booked it! One security guy screamed "Stop, SISTER!" and both gave chase. I may be a sister, but I've raced four marathons, and here was my fifth. From the bowels of the Hyatt, I sprinted up three staircases, an escalator, four more flights and down a long hallway to our room, all while weaving in and out of a herd of leather. They didn't catch me.

I felt like a greyhound.

More importantly, the dog run footage is intact. I can't wait to edit and assemble it.


Michael said...

I think that red latex dood might be my dermatologist.

Benjamin said...

you should go to the Folsom Street Fair in San Fran...definetely a leather event not to be missed.

Mark in DE said...

"Stop, Sister"??? Was he serious? LOL, that is too funny! So glad you escaped with your doggy footage. Can't wait to see it.

Mark :-)