Friday, March 07, 2008

New Generation of Gayby

On Valentine's Day 2006, I blogged about Bam Bam ditching me for the sperm clinic. Before we'd met, he'd arranged with a pair of lesbians to be the "father" to their gayby via artificial insemination. It's not the most romantic thing in the world when your boyfriend leaves you on Valentine's day to go to drop his spoof off at the sperm bank for a pair of lesbians intent on breeding. But I let it go.

I figured he was shooting blanks. I'd figured it wouldn't happened. I figured wrong.

This past September, lovely lesbian Prue fell pregnant. The whole affair is bizarre to me--I mean, gays aren't meant to breed: it's what elevates us above the animals. Is Bam Bam now gonna be forced to care about things like global warming? If my boyfriend has a gayby, what does that make me? It makes me remember (aagch!) that I am 100% recyclable. Life goes on.

Bam came down this trip to Australia to drop the bomb to his unsuspecting parents. He's not one for too much disclosure, and his parents aren't ones for too much emotion, so it went swift and pain-free. But how was he going to explain all this to the rest of the family?

We're also down under for Bam's mother's 80th birthday party. Just like last year, it was held after the all-night Mardi Gras party, and just before the "recovery" parties. I went to her gathering on two hours of sleep. I literally have pictures from Cyndi Lauper's Mardi Gras performance at 8 am, and the next picture is of a tea cup and cake at noon.

Bam Bam's mother celebrated her 80th surrounded by fifty of her friends, kids and grandkids, and she gave a little speech. In my impaired state, I heard her finish up with a surprise twist. "I'm proud to announce," she said, "That I'm to be a grandmother again," Everyone looks around stumped like...who's the floozy? And then she finishes. "Bam Bam is having a baby with Prue."

"Who is Prue?" screams someone. Nobody knows Prue, not even Bam Bam's mother, but she just sits down without another word, quite satisfied that she stumped the whole lot on her 80th.

The entire crowd turns to me, like my real name is Prue and I'm some marvel of modern medicine. "Is he showing a baby bump?"

"Bam Bam," I say..."You've got some 'splaining to do!"

The gayby, Ava Grace, is due to drop May 17.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Congratulations. You can be like Auntie Mame!

Anonymous said...

Congrats! I am glad you did a follow up on that story,,, :-)

Stephen n Scottsdale

yet another black guy said...

YOU'RE GONNA BE A MOMMIE!!!

Tony said...

Congrats to Prue, Bam, and "Uncle/Aunt" Jesse (take your pick) on the impending arrival of Ava Grace. Whether someone, gay or not, "breeds" or not, that circumstance in no way detracts from their value as a human being. We are all "recyclable." What counts is how we live and how we love. Looks like you're doing a sparkling job on those fronts.

BTW, I wonder if it's the case that gays are not "meant" to breed. Certainly they can choose not to (see above). But if same-sex attraction has a genetic component (I think it must), maybe Bam is passing it along, which is a good thing, right?

Anonymous said...

Jesse, I hope little Ava inherits your hair!

Anonymous said...

So cool! Ya'll are going to get to play with a tyke! You should watch Will and Grace episodes where Jack takes care of his gayby(love that).

So....is BamBam now financially responsible for this kid? Like, does he pay child support? Is he giving them any money? Does he have rights? did they sign something legal before?

-javier