Saturday, March 15, 2008

Anonymity and Me

If you're feeling down in the dumps, you should go to Lady Bunny's blog. You should definitely not, I repeat do not google yourself.

Silly me, I googled myself. I found I'd appeared last year in a discussion forum on a site called Datalounge, which celebrates "10 Years of Gay Gossip, Politics and Pointless Bitchery"---10 years! That's a decade to be proud of.

I appeared in a thread, it was either gossip or pointless bitchery, probably both. The original post was: Have any of you done the deed with this very hot, very talented guy? And then it provided a link to my site.

Well, thank you mister original poster for thinking I'm hot and talented. Because you're the only one! He asked if anyone had "done the deed" with me. What followed was a trail of 40 responses which went oh-so much further than a simple yes or no.

You don't like me, you really don't like me!

Here is a sampling:

Looks like an insufferable diva.

by: Anonymous reply 9 11/16/07 @15:16

I've never met him, but know lots that have. Heard he's nice, not as interesting to talk to as you'd think after reading some of his stuff, is queeny as all get out.

by: Anonymous reply 11 11/16/07 @15:46

Tired, obnoxious, drugged out queen. Trust.

by: Anonymous reply 12 11/16/07 @15:47

Kind of a pathetic guy. Attractive face, but weak and tired looking. Just not sexy.

by: Anonymous reply 13 11/16/07 @16:00

Funny this should come up as I read his column in OUT about an hour ago.

Who is this vapid little cater waiter and why does he have a column? He has published a travel book and best I can figure he is a snippy little nineties holdover.

He is hot, if a little skinny, I like some of what he says, but his smug assholery is unwarranted given that his major accomplishment in life seems to be scoring a free place to sleep every summer in the Pines.

by: Anonymous reply 22 11/19/07 @11:56


by: Anonymous reply 25 11/19/07 @13:47

I've been reading his column and even checked out his website. He may be very nice in person but the character he plays on the internet and in his writing is anything but nice for anyone other than a bitchy circuit crowd.

by: R22 reply 27 11/19/07 @18:02

Jesse is one gross-self-absorbed-fag! She needs to get over herself.

by: Anonymous reply 29 11/27/07 @00:39

Don't kid yourselves; most of you dizzy DL queens would faint senselessly if Jesse Archer even looked at you.

by: Anonymous reply 31 12/04/07 @11:17

Yes, faint from the pretentiousness, self-regard, and aggressive self-promotion.

Good-looking narcissist #39,974,833.


by: Anonymous reply 32 12/04/07 @11:33


Wow. Pointless bitchery really brings out the best in people! Thanks, reply 31, for trying to stick up for me. And "IFHH"? Is that: I fucking hate her ?? Hate me? None of em even know me. I share these postings because I want you to see what they have in common: they are all anonymous.

I wonder how many of these people would say these things to my face. I wonder how many of them would take the time to sit down and write those very same words in a letter, then put a stamp on it, and then post it to me. I wonder. Because I think that somewhere between the time they took out the pen and the time they took to post it, they'd reconsider what they were doing. Like, maybe it's not very constructive.

The ease of the digital age has not brought us any closer together. It's far too easy to just hide alone in a room. There you sit without having to actually interact. Without having to be held accountable for your actions, not even for your nasty free speech.

I'm all for pointless bitchery. Go for it-- criticize and eviscerate, but don't go slink back into the shadow of unaccountable anonymity. It's not fair to those of us who say what we feel and then dare to sign our names.

And now, this tired, drugged out insufferable diva is going to get over herself and visit Lady Bunny. At least she has a sense of humor. Trust.


Anonymous said...

I think you're great!


“Don't pay any attention to what they write about you. Just measure it in inches.”
Andy Warhol quote

Anonymous said...

Dont let cliche and hackneyed insults/garbage keep those lotioned fingers from typing, upgrade your madness!

I Love Ya Dahlin!

Casper said...

I was just in a store in Fort Lauderdale today and someone mentioned A FOUR LETTER WORD coming out (Ok it was me). Anyway, these other customers turned around and said: "we were just in Australia at Jesse Archer's book and DVD signing. He is so great. Can't wait to see the new movie! We love SLUTTY SUMMER". So I just want to say how great you are and to not stop being yourself and speak your mind. I don't always agree 100% with everything you say and do but I admire you immensely for always speaking out and for doing whatever you want. And for your many, many accomplishments. And for never hiding behind anonymous. xoxo

Dtown Sal said...

You have to look at this in a rational manner, we tend to put people down more than we give them I right?

Just last night I was talking about your column to some friends and 2 of them mentioned how well they identify with your stories. You touch a nerve with people that's for sure. Would you rather have zero effect at all?

Having read this post, I'm wondering if I should bite the bullet and go to "" to see what my students have to say about me. Should I?

Michael said...

You're a smart, funny, great-looking guy with a certain level of notoriety. People hate that.

Also, I liked, but didn't love, A Four Letter Word.

(I didn't want to appear fawning.)

Anonymous said...

Whenever you start acheiving some level of fame or popularity, you're going to get the haters. People make a living out of bashing Britney, people attack Rosie O'Donnell - even gays - who works on so many gay charities and came out in an industry that really rips people apart for being gay, and closet gays have always attacked open ones - for representing what they still hate in themselves. These writers are too afraid, too unmotivated or too untalented to take a chance on being writers themselves so they voice their opinions by attacking someone that was brave enough to do so.

You've always been a bit incendiary - even in real life. That's part of what makes you unique - an original. You have the power to spark conversation - and that's crucial in the world.

Bob said...

What can I say? I read your column every month in OUT and read your blog everyday. I read You Can Run and enjoyed it a lot.

And what's wrong with the 90's? I had a good time, especially between lovers.

lwando said...

You are the definition of FIERCE! I admire what you do in your life. You are a source of inspiration. It's funny how they always call us "sissy's" as people who are weak, but we are the ones who always have to take the bloody punches. And we always come out standing. I agree with anonymouse "You have the power to spark conversation - and that's crucial in the world." I have just renewed my subscription to OUT because I want to hear more of what you have to say. Bitch on Jesse!

You said...

Honestly, would you prefer putting yourself out there and having people feel indifferently toward you? Like most interesting people who have opinions, you obviously polarize people. And unlike some lame, faggy, anonymous bloggers, YOU, my friend, have the balls to sign your name after what you write!

Meanwhile, wouldn't you rather just live your own life than be anonymously jealous of someone else's? I think all those boys are just fat. And I'm not talking Gay-Fat. I'm talking Fat-Fat in that Mid-Western "what's a salad?" kind of way.

Sancho said...

Jesse, I've read your articles in OUT for about a year now and have loved every one.

I just recently found your blog and have been going through it, enjoying it so much that I've been going back to the archives and reading everything!

I've been a little shy to comment, but this post reminded me of an often quoted internet adage:

John Gabriel's Greater Internet F*ckwad Theory: Normal Person + Anonymity + Audience = Total F*ckwad

These people would never have the balls to say things like that to you in person.

Stay strong, stay fierce, and keep up the sparkle!


Eddie said...

You already know how much I love you. But I'll say it again for the world to see!!!

Michael Coates said...

I figured IFHH meant "I'd Fuck Him Hard"!?

I adore you Jesse, and think you're a brilliant individual and one of the true & only *fierce* people living in NYC.

Lucky Pierre said...

I am constantly amazed at the vitriol that is spewed anonymously throughout the internet. Of course, even with a snappy online identity, it's still fairly anonymous. As gay men, you and I have little in common, but I think you're fab. Smart, pithy and handsome. Keep it up (so to speak).

yet another black guy said...

yeah, everybody's got the attitude behind the veil of anonymity, but it's a different story when their identities are revealed. sort of like the infamous "they" from high school.

oh well, they're talking about you while no one's thinking about them. justice is served.

damedaxx said...

Some blog software shows the blog owner the IP address of the comment posters. Notably, you see the same people posting repeatedly as "anonymous" on the same thread. They even respond to their own comments, conveying the impression of multiple posters agreeing with each other, when actually it's all the same person. Usually someone in soiled underpants living in his Mom's basement in Mineola.

Tony said...

Hey Jesse -

Does this mean that we should now address our comments to you as "Dear Diva?" Consider it done.

I'd like that one anonymous flamer to know (and anyone else who hasn't met you) that you are indeed very nice in person. No question about it.
But that doesn't mean you shouldn't continue to be as provocative and interesting as your blog and column have been so far. Keep it up. No pun intended.


Kevin said...

I took IFHH to mean...I'd fuck his hole but that's probably cause I am a huge slut and mostly thinking about holes.

I have mainly straight friends and they now all know who you are since I passed your book out like it was hot cakes. They all seemed to enjoy it.

I always says about you..."I'm not sure if I want to be him or just want to fuck him."