Monday, January 28, 2008

Bad Habits Die Hard

I've been biting my fingernails as long as I can remember. Biting is the term, even though its not very appropriate because I do much more than bite: I rip, tear, cut and chew my fingernails. So it's something vicious, a lion on the antelope jugular.

I worked a modeling gig back in November. When I arrived on set, a woman called me over to a chair. She was doing manicures for all the models. "They're only shooting my face and hair," I protested, on her behalf. "Sit down," she said.

I clasped my hands behind my back. "I have teenage runaway nails." I told her.

"Give me your hands," she demanded. Reluctantly, I did.

Giving her my hands, I made a personal promise to myself. I was so grossly ashamed of my teenage runaway nails that I decided to stop. Just like that. Cold turkey on the nails.

That was November 30, 2007. Ever since, I've had the novel occasion to use a pair of nail clippers. That's not to say I don't still get my fix. My fingernails haven't grown out much because I've taken to trimming them too often, just to eat the clippings.

My habit is now less like a predatory lion, and more like a vulture scavenging the corpse.

Not quite as violent, but still disgusting. Yuck. I know.


Anonymous said...

Jesse (the Germ),
So your nails are neater, but you still have the potential to lacerate your throat and stomach lining? ulcers and upset, disgusting, oh my!! for a pretty guy, you are very germy. if you need more fiber in your diet, why don't you try raisin bran or frosted mini wheats?
Good Luck on kicking the habit!

Michael said...

I had the same filthy habit until my hands became my business. I found just keeping my nails trimmed very short (and buffed to a gorgeous luster) kept me from chewing.

Still, I chewed for a decade before that, so why am I so disgusted that you chew the clippings? As you say, not quite as violent, but also none of the majesty. It's like eating roadkill. STOP IT!