Friday, May 11, 2007

Quotes on the Brink

A few favorite quotables from last week's whirlwind in Miami:

1.
Bam Bam and I wake up in our party pad to find our friend Chad making an orange drink in the blender. "Ready for a drink, boys?" he asks, and it's early so Bam Bam wonders aloud. "Is it alcoholic?" Chad just gasps rather imperiously. "I don't do smoothies."

2.
My best friend CoolDan broke his foot in three places one boozy night along Lincoln Road. He hopped around one one foot before finally buying crutches. His foot swelled up to the size of a football, and when he sat down on the plane for the trip back to New York City, the girl beside him asked. "How did you hurt your foot?" "Actually," deadpanned Dan. "I don't remember."

3.
AFLW actress Margret Echeverria recounted a tale her friend told her about an episode she had during sex. Apparently the girl was having the sex of her life, on the edge of climax, when she couldn't help the following words from sailing out of her at orgasm. "Stick me like a HOG!"

4.
PETA activist Dan Mathews is still on his book tour--and when in Miami, he told me about a recent reading in Wisconsin. After the reading, he hooked up with some local, and the following day they stopped back into the bookshop so his trick could get a copy of his book "Committed". The owner said. "But Dan, I thought you didn't know anyone in Madison?" And Dan looks at her.."I didn't, until midnight." She laughed which enticed him to continue. "So you see, I'll not only bend over backwards to sell a book--I'll bend over forwards too!"

Yes, but did he get stuck like a hog?

1 comment:

Christie said...

Speaking of sex, I learned a valuable lesson. I decided one boring night to take an exceeded amount of vicodin and then hubby decides he wants to "light my fire" so down he goes on me....and he goes....and he goes....and he goes.....so the morla of the story? Vicodin will RUIN any chances of good oral sex. Keep that in mind!