Friday, April 27, 2007

Swinger with Blue Balls

Lastnight I bartended at a club over in that vast westside nothingness between Chelsea and Hell's Kitchen. They club hosted a "private party"--and as I saw the women putting candy necklaces and candles all around the place, and then change their panties right in front of me, I knew something was up. Turns out, it was a swingers party.

Surprisingly, it was an attractive crowd of straights. As the night wore on, couples met on the couches, lifted up their dresses, unzipped their zippers and went for it. For the first time ever, I witnessed pussy-eating in person. And I don't have a lot of firsts. Shockingly, the women were far more unsselfconscious...baring it all in front of who cares?

My favorite part was a man and a woman who came to the bar and ordered two club sodas. The next thing I know, he's got his hand up her dress and she's moaning wildly. At the bar. After a club soda! Then she's jerking him off, and it's getting hotter and hotter, until she picks up what remains of her club soda and stalks off. He sat waiting for her to come back.

"Can I get you another club soda?" I ask him. He looks at me dejected, "Have you seen the woman I was with?" I told him I hadn't, and she never returned. He sat there glum, depleted, nursing a club soda. In the gay world we understand, but straights perhaps aren't used to the concept: getting action is one thing, keeping it is another.

Fickle swingers.

2 comments:

Chad said...

I hope you washed your tips!

Christie said...

I need to get me some club soda it looks like!