Friday, October 20, 2006

Fear Factor

My friend Curtis whirled into town last weekend from Philly and promptly ordered up copious amounts of cocaine. He stayed up all night and when I found him comatose in my bed Saturday afternoon, he had a crusted yellow phlegm trailing from his nostrils.

Ever glamorous, Curtis washed his face and dove back into the bag of cocaine. Later that evening it occured to him that if he was going to keep gunning through the weekend he would get real sketchy if he didn't eat. One cannot function on copious amounts of cocaine alone. Yes, Curtis would force himself to shove something dreadful down his gullet. Actual food.

Hamburgers don't look so delicious when you're high on cocaine

Curtis went out and came back with a deli-made hamburger. At the kitchen table he sat down and grimaced at the hamburger. He poked at the bun. He sneered. "It's like Fear Factor," he said.

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