Sunday, August 24, 2014

Malta Mia!

Been nearly a month, and what a month... the incredible Atlantis Cruise across the Mediterranean with my very bestest friends from all over the world. First stop, MALTA. They said entering the harbor at Valletta is one of the world's most impressive sailing experiences -- and no kidding.
The usual suspects.
It's an ancient historical town that was conquered by just about everyone from the Knights Templar to Napolean. The Ottomans 1565 "seige of Malta" they're still talking about. Malta lies in a super strategic position, and also suffered terribly in WW2 bombings -- but every building is still in the same uniform camel color -- even if built in 1982, it still matches the same period and color -- which is just uniformly impressive and so stylistically old world.

Me and my bestie!

A-door-able.
Cooldan, Bam, Simon, Wayne.



Bam and Cooldan do their fake slap thing. Except here I think he actually hit him. 



We went to the famed Blue Grotto.
which really is this BLUE. 
The island way out there was like... just a slice of cliff. Where have you ever seen that?
The water really is this clear.



Wayne, do you think they will gift me Malta? I'll take a time-share.
I haven't lost a leg, it's just I love Malta THIS much.

Meanwhile, back on the pool deck of the cruiseship... I got Anita a gift:





Sunday, July 27, 2014

"I'll Never Shake This Way Again" - Mayday's Bday Bash

So, yeah, my birthday dress was inspired by the one and only Cyd Charisse... a little something she wore in The Bandwagon opposite Fred Astaire. WHO WORE IT BETTER? No, don't answer that.


We got ready at Richard's, in Darlinghurst. He set up a full vanity with lots of champagne and all the usual suspects showed up. Everyone got a makeover from a pro, Nathan. Well, everyone except Mai Tai...who came out of retirement in Tangiers just for tonight.
Mai Tai
Simone, Belle Igerent and Mayday. 
Simone took to drag like a DUCK TO WATER. Slut.
Belle, Mayday and Simone with Martyn.



Below: Miss 3-D
Getting into it.

Polly was so proud.
A few friends dropped by for the shenanigans. 
 And my second number I had my mate Paul Croft mix Ann Miller's classic from Easter Parade, "Shaking Your Blues Away" (because it really can't get dreamier for me than being dressed as Cyd Charisse and performing Ann Miller) together with "I'll never love this way again" (Dionne) and "I Have Nothing" (Whitney). In the end, the mix "I'll Never Shake This Way Again" was my bipolar ode to exactly the way I feel about 40.


video

Whoa - you can see how I started to lose my wig! And talk about a bipolar video. That was Simone behind the camera... and what's even sloppier -- in a climactic moment with the music -- I threw off my detachable skirt!!


And after all that, Polly had me do an ENCORE!! The crowd went wild...



My last number was a duet with Mai Tai --- "I wanna dance with somebody" and Mai Tai was so messy she fell off the stage AND lost her wig during our number! I wanna dance with... a DRUNK BITCH!" This triple photo action says all in slo-mo:


LAUNCHING...




And she's off! Meanwhile, OUTSIDE... Simone.


INSIDE... Mayday says come hither!








Friday, July 18, 2014

A Big Birthday. I survived!

Living the philosophy "here for a good time, not a long time", I have to acknowledge that turning 40 is more miracle than milestone. And somehow I have managed to outlive the world's most important poets. Jesus. Rimbaud. And this year, the great Anna Nicole Smith.
Thankfully tons of friends were on hand to celebrate, and we won't stop for at least another few months. First up, I always wanted to do laser tag since I was a kid.
Laser Fag!
So we did that and it got really aggressive. My friend Dave had to apologize repeatedly to a gaggle of 12 year old girls for calling them "sluts" in the heat of the action. At another point, the lasers weren't firing. We're all running around shooting but nobody was dying, so I went outside to the operator who said he wouldn't activate the game until "that woman finishes her drink". In the locker room, all alone, is a girlfriend, Shelly, suited up in armor, drunkenly sipping a cocktail, lasergun in the other.

Guess we shouldn't have started drinking at my friend Aaron's birthday party at noon!

happy birthday Aaron!


Back to UNLIMITED LASER TAG:
Afterward, we headed to celebrate at this really daggy/homey old-time pub (just my style!), The Cricketer's Arms, and yeah - thankfully not much photographic evidence survives.
Great cake! Despite lack of copy editor...
The next day we got dragged up and entered Polly's Follies at the Stonewall Hotel for my birthday bonanza. Well, Mai Tai and I entered, while Bam (Belle Igerent) and Simone (Simone de Beavoir) just got drunk! Surprisingly, the injuries from the drag adventures paled in comparison to laser tag.

Pics from our frocked-up affair are still being fumigated, but here are a couple of teasers.
stopping traffic in Darlinghurst.
I'm the 40 year old lady in red!
 Who cannot keep her leg down!

Thursday, June 26, 2014

Can You Joke About AIDS?

That's the topic of my latest essay for this month's OUT Magazine, which you can read here. I lost a few 'friends' after asking for AIDS jokes online and also in my research I found some seriously sick humor coming from those right at the center of the epidemic. As I get older, I find my writing is less strident, which hopefully doesn't mean less persuasive, but by the end of the piece I don't really want readers to know where I stand on making AIDS jokes (but of course you know where I stand).
Illo by Edel Rodriguez





Monday, June 23, 2014

I Remember House

I was going to spend a nice quiet evening at home, but then I thought WHO OR WHAT HAVE I BECOME?! So I pulled myself together and went to church...